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(Presented by Lisa Bishop)
A few years ago I received a call from a friend. When I picked up the phone she asked if we could talk. She said she had been hurt by something I did and wanted to have a conversation about it because our relationship was important to her. I admired the courage it took for her to call me. It would have been much easier for her to stew or make up stories about what happened rather than take the initiative to share her hurt. She went on to describe what happened from her perspective and how she felt. I really admired the way she approached the conversation. She did not blame; she shared her experience and point of view. She sought to engage in dialogue rather than prove a point or put me in my place.
Ephesians 4:15 says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Christian maturity is marked by the ability to share difficult truths in a loving way. And my friend did this which led to a fruitful conversation. Her attitude was one of humility. As you prepare to approach a conflict situation, the actual words and delivery in the midst of the confrontation are key.
No matter the level of hurt or offense, approach the conversation with humility. Share your perspective. Avoid blaming. Seek to understand the other person’s perspective. Listen.
If you are the one who was hurt, give grace and extend forgiveness. If you caused the hurt, own it, sincerely apologize, and ask for forgiveness. Give your ego a backseat and seek the fruit of the Spirit of peace.
Whether you are the injured or offending party, seeking an end to conflict by pursuing harmony and being a peacemaker is biblical. As children of God we are called to share Jesus’s passion for peace and reconciliation. Where can you actively engage in conflict with the goal of breaking down the walls that seek to divide your relationships? Who will you call this week to address a conflict as you seek peace and reconciliation?