What are some steps you can take to be set free from the bitterness and resentment caused by wrongs done to you? Here is step one:

Do good to the person who wronged you.

If you are willing to make this first step, to do something that requires you to make a personal sacrifice, it could begin the healing process.

Romans 12:14: “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”

Matthew 5:44: “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

Speak well of them in private and public. No matter how troublesome they are, there is something good to be said. If not, just don’t say anything. Do not let the wrong this person has done to you cause you to sin. Do not disparage them to others. Don’t tell anyone you don’t have to tell.

I know this is hard; it goes against all your natural tendencies. But we are called—and empowered—to live above our natural tendencies, as disciples of Jesus Christ. Because of the Holy Spirit who lives within us, we can actually do good to someone who has wronged us, because we do it in obedience to the Lord and out of love to him. Then we trust the results to him. It’s not a manipulation technique to try to change the other person; it’s an act of obedience out of love for Jesus.

Are you willing to take that first step and actually do something good for the person who has wronged you? You will be amazed at how that will make a difference for you.

Humble yourself before God.

James 4:10: “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

1 Peter 5:6: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.”

It is humbling to give up your right for revenge, to give up your hurt feelings, to give up taking your pain out on others. But if you will humble yourself, then God won’t have to humble you, and he will lift you up—in due time!