Been dumped on lately? While there are times when we are called on to endure unfair treatment patiently and wait for God’s timing, there are also times when we know that God would have us take some kind of a stand against this kind of treatment.

If you feel you’re in that position, after much prayer and patience, then remember these guidelines:

  • Don’t take assertive, confrontational action when you’re emotional, upset, angry, or tired.
  • Don’t confront someone else’s behavior when others are present. Do it privately.
  • Plan your approach. Write it out ahead of time so that you choose your words carefully. Even though you’re not going to read your speech, by writing it out you will choose your words much more carefully. Take a few notes with you to help you remember.
  • Soften the blow. Choose words that will not cause a defensive reaction on the part of the other person, as much as you possibly can. Try not to issue ultimatums. “Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness,” as we read in Proverbs 15, so make your words as palatable as
  • Don’t talk about the situation to everyone else. Keep this between you and the person you’re confronting as much as possible. Be careful not to get in a mode of maligning and degrading that person to others.
  • Try to create a “win-win” atmosphere in your conversation. Point out the benefits for everyone involved.
  • Be sure your timing is right. Avoid very busy days or times when the other person is upset or tired or preoccupied with other things.
  • Most importantly, give this decision much prayer and seek counsel from trusted advisors.

Remember, when we are emotionally involved in a situation, it can be difficult for us to see the    forest because we’re looking at the trees. We sometimes need the perspective of others who are more objective.