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Recently someone asked me how to deal with a boss who uses belittling and humiliating tactics. You may have found yourself in that type of situation. As Christians, we need careful thought and guidance to act and react according to biblical principles.
Remember to make this person an object of concentrated, daily prayer and see how prayer changes your perspective and your attitude. Now, it may be that the changes in your attitude, brought about by prayer, will actually cause the other person’s attitude and tactics to change. If you’re resenting the treatment, feeling misused and abused, chances are your reactions to this person are making the problem worse. Once you get out of that chain of thinking and begin focusing on God’s purpose in the situation, it may so change your behavior, that it will affect the other person as well.
However, let me hasten to say that it may not, and you may be faced with a situation where confrontation is called for. However, before you confront, be certain that you check out your motives carefully. Are you simply trying to be vindictive? Are you reacting out of self-pity? Are you fighting for your rights? Those are not biblically-based motivations. Jesus frequently confronted people, but he always did it for their own good, not to vindicate himself.
That confrontation will have to be bathed in prayer and God’s wisdom, done at the right time in the right way. Please don’t over-react, and don’t confront when you’re emotionally upset.
You may start with something like: “I wonder if I could ask a consideration of you. You’re probably not aware of it, but it seems that often you choose to give me criticism and negative feedback when it is the most embarrassing. I know that I need feedback, but could I ask you to do it privately?” Be prepared to cite dates and situations, for most people will deny that it is happening.
And remember that biblical principles teach us to go the extra mile, to endure unfair and unkind treatment much longer than others would. I would refer you to Matthew 5 to see what Jesus had to say about taking unfair treatment.
You know, God may have good purposes for leaving you in that unfair situation for a period of time. Perhaps others are watching you and if you respond in a Christ-like way, that could be a very effective witness. God has a right to use us in these ways, and we must be willing to allow him to do so.