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The more I thought about unexpected acts of kindness, the more encouraged I was to realize that we as Christ-followers have the great privilege of living out the hope we have in Jesus, in a world that often seems hopelessly angry and hateful and unkind. While we face the reality of what’s happening, it’s important that we not just bemoan it and continue to focus on all that is wrong. Instead, because of Jesus, we have hope—and we can share that hope with the people in our worlds.
It is reported that the great evangelist of the 20th Century, D. L. Moody said, “The world has yet to see what God can do through a man who is totally yielded to him.” And I believe your world and mine has yet to see what God can do through believers, individuals, like you and me, who are willing to be God’s light in this dark world. And it begins by making it our goal to be kind and gracious in every aspect, every relationship that God brings out way.
We know that part of the fruit of the Spirit, given in Galatians 5, is kindness. And in Colossians 3:12 we read, Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Kindness should be our trademark as ambassadors for Christ. That’s where it must begin. We can be kind—we will want to be kind—when we allow God’s Spirit to clothe us with this fruit; to make us more like Jesus.
So, part one is prayer—and a daily commitment to be God’s representative in our worlds. What does your world include? Of course, it begins at home, and you know, sometimes that’s the most difficult place to wear kindness, have you noticed? Yes, we love our families, those closest to us, but they can be the first ones to step on our toes and push our buttons. And no doubt, it works the other way around as well—we step on their toes.
So, let’s begin at home by being careful to speak words of kindness to our mates, our children, our parents—those we love most. Sometimes that just means a change in the tone of your voice. Proverbs 16:21 says: The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction. Another version puts it this way: “sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.” I have been noticing lately how words of kindness and affirmation, with encouraging tones in the voice, bring a very different response. It just works! God’s word is totally relevant to the relationships in your home. So, give it a real try—speak kind and gracious and encouraging words to those people in your house and/or your family.
Then, look for opportunities to show kindness where there is often strife or lack of harmony and unity—perhaps where you work. Maybe like becoming more intentional about showing kindness, doing little things, things easy to do, like smiling more. Yes, I’m serious. Smiling makes a difference, and it takes virtually no effort or time and it cost nothing. Proverbs says that a happy heart makes the face cheerful, so keep your heart cheerful and let your face reflect it (Proverbs 15:13).
Another small thing that can make a difference is simply complimenting someone when you can do so sincerely. I always say if you think something nice about someone, then say it if you can. “I like your outfit.” “You did a great job.” “You were a great help; thank you.” The simplest things can make a difference. It’s amazing how powerful words can be—they have the power of life and death. And Proverbs 16 reminds us that Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. A few gracious words in a tense or trying situation can truly be a healing element that changes the tone.
You may be thinking that these things don’t sound like anything much, nothing that could really change anything or anyone. But I challenge you to give it a serious try—focus on the small things you can do throughout your day to make your workplace kinder. It can be contagious; pray about it and give it a try.
And you know, sometimes kindness on the job—and elsewhere—can be expressed simply through restraint—by not doing or saying what you want to do or say. You hold your tongue. Proverbs 17:27 says, The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint and using words with restraint can often be the kindest thing you can do.
How about kindness to strangers? Just recognizing people who are serving you in some way—the clerk in the store, the waiter at the restaurant, the ticket-taker at the drive through. Calling them by name when you can, thanking them for good service, making small talk with people you might otherwise ignore. These are just some of the little things that can bring down the temperature, the hostility, as we start to be more respectful of each other. As we continually remind ourselves that everyone is created in the image of God; everyone has value and should be treated with dignity.
And what about showing electronic kindness—with all our internet communication. Perhaps it’s true that this lack of civility we see in our culture had its beginnings in social media. Honestly, I don’t spend much personal time on social media. We use it for good here at The Christian Working Woman, and it definitely has its place in our worlds, but so much harm has been done by the way people use social media, to vet their pet peeves and worse.
Remember that words on a screen have a feel to them, and the way you begin and end your internet communications—email, Facebook, Instagram, whatever—the words you choose, leaves an impression. A few kind words as you begin and end takes very little effort and helps turn a cold communication into a friendly one. Basic rule: read it again before you send it and ask yourself if it has a friendly tone to it.
There may be times when you have to give someone bad news—you have to tell them what you know they do not want to hear. Whether you speak it or write it, find a way to soften the blow. Show empathy like “I know this isn’t what you were hoping for but. . .” or “I wish I had better news for you but. . .” Taking time to soften the blow, to speak truth with love, as the Bible tells us, can show kindness in a stressful communication.
These are just some simple things we can do. There are many others like holding the door for others, giving up your seat when needed, offering a helping hand to people who need
it—and no doubt you do those kind of things regularly. But as I consider my own everyday activities, I know that I can do a better job of being intentionally kind in many ways.
Imagine if all of us who are Christ-followers just made extra efforts to change the tone in our worlds, admittedly our small worlds, it truly could make a difference. It’s a way to show the love of Jesus to people who need an answer to the chaos of this world.
While these things may not bring about the societal change the world needs, I think it could change us and awaken us to the need for extra kindness. It could change our focus. I don’t know about you, but I realize that at times I focus too much on all that is wrong in our world, and there is plenty to take our attention. But we are called to be lights in a dark world. This should call forth the best in us because any small kindness today stands out—it is a light in a dark world.
We can’t change others, but we have the power of the Holy Spirit to change ourselves. So, even though there is no guarantee that we can have a positive impact on others, certainly we can make sure our own attitudes are on the right track.
For example, we can try to assume the best about people instead of presuming the worst. This is a good principle for all relationships. I remember asking a couple I know who have a good marriage what the secret was for their relationship, and he said, “We always give each other the benefit of the doubt.” What a simple but great principle to practice. Assume the best of others.
Psalm 15:1 – 3 gives some practical advice for us today:
Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others.
David is asking for guidance for the person who wants to follow God, who wants to live pleasing to him. And the answer is:
Make sure you walk the talk. The integrity of your life needs to be evident to all.
Speak the truth from your heart. When you watch your words carefully and make sure they come from a pure heart of love, you will spread kindness in your world. I remember my Daddy saying to me, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything.” That’s pretty good advice, isn’t it?
Don’t gossip about others. Even when gossip and backbiting are all around you, don’t let your tongue utter slander or unkind words about others.
And then in that same Psalm 15, verse 4, David says that a righteous person keeps an oath even when it hurts and does not change their mind. Again, we are reminded that keeping promises is a kindness and should be evident in the life of a Christ-follower. I like to remember the old marketing principle: Under promise and over deliver. Be careful not to commit to something carelessly, and when you make a commitment, keep your promise, as David says, even when it hurts.
I hope you will join me in becoming more intentional and more committed to simply being kind. We can all get better at it, can’t we? I know I can. As Paul wrote to Timothy (2 Timothy 2:24), we must be kind to everyone, for that is what Jesus would do.