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It’s very easy for any of us to fall into a trap of comparing ourselves to other people. We see it all around us, especially on our jobs. But the consequences can be devastating, and sinful as well.
Usually when we compare ourselves to others, we come to one of three conclusions:
- First, we conclude that we’re better than they are.
- Or we decide that they’re better than we are.
- And that leads us into thinking we’d rather be them than us since they are better than we are.
Think, first of all, about the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector, as given in Luke 18:9-14:
To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God.
We look at this Pharisee and think, “How awful!” And yet how easy it is for us to compare ourselves to others with that same type of attitude. Like the Pharisee, we compare outward appearances and end up thinking we’re pretty hot stuff. That kind of comparison leads us to a false security about ourselves and it leads us into pride.
Have you noticed how insidiously pride creeps into our thinking? Have you been looking at others lately and thinking: “Well, I look better than she does,” or “I perform better than he does,” or “I’ve got more to offer than they do.” When you make these kinds of comparisons, the sin of pride is taking over your mind. Jesus said at the end of this parable: “For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted” (Luke 18:14b).
Listen to yourself think and talk and see how often you compare yourself to others and end up feeling pretty proud of yourself. It’s a very dangerous road to be on. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippians that they should consider others more important than themselves. That’s the attitude we need to have toward others.
What I find is particularly prevalent among business people is that they compare their positions and our salaries, and think they’re more important than others because they’ve climbed the ladder higher or gotten another raise. Certainly, that’s one of the real dangers we face if we are ambitious—the sin of pride in thinking that we’re better than others because we’ve got a bigger salary or a better title.
Remember that in eternity those titles and salaries will have no meaning. Everything we are and have are gifts from God to us. We truly can take no credit for our abilities or accomplishments. Paul wrote to the Corinthian believers:
For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not? (1 Corinthians 4:7).
So, that’s one deadly result of the sin of comparison—we think we’re better than others. Secondly, comparing ourselves to others can lead us to think that others are better than us. Consider the parable of the talents that Jesus gave us (Matthew 25:14-28). Before leaving on a long trip, the Master gives three servants certain talents, or resources. One servant received five talents, one two, and the third servant received only one talent.
When the master returned, he asked each of them to give an account of what they had done with those resources. The first servant reported that his five talents were now ten; the second servant similarly reported that his two talents were now four. But what about the third servant? He had taken his one talent and done nothing with it, and he had to report to the master that because he was afraid of losing it, he had hidden it and it was still only one. After all, he had only one and the other two had much more than he did, so in comparison to them, his one talent was nothing—that’s what he was thinking.
The Master rewards the first two servants equally: “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful in a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness” (Matthew 25:21,23). Even though one had ten and one had only four, they got the same exact reward.
But what does the master say to the third servant? It’s a very strong condemnation: “You wicked, lazy servant!…Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten talents!” (Matthew 25:26). Now what can we learn from this?
The lesson here is that God does not compare us with others, but he does expect us to make very good use of the resources that have been given to us. This servant could have had the same reward that the others received had he simply taken his one talent and multiplied it. He wasn’t required to multiply his one into ten, only into two.
Are you failing to use what God has given you? Do you compare yourself to others and conclude that they are better than you, they have more to work with than you do, they’ve got it easy and you’ve got it hard? Whether you have more or less than other people is inconsequential. You will be required to account for your own resources, no one else’s.
Notice what happened to this third servant as a result of his attitude of comparing himself to those who had more:
- First, we notice that it made him fearful (Matthew 25:25). He was afraid to lose the talent he had, since he compared and saw that he had only one. And that fear led him to a very irrational, unreasonable course of action. Knowing that the master was demanding and expected him to multiply his talents, he decided to dig a hole and hide it.
- Second, he became lazy. The master called him a lazy servant (Matthew 25:26). When we compare ourselves to others who have more than we do, this will frequently happen. We lose our motivation, we lose our initiative, and we become lazy.
- Third, it led him into sin. The master identified him as wicked, because he had failed to do what he knew he should do (Matthew 25:26). In James 4:17 we read: “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”
- Fourth, he lost what he had. His worst fear was realized; the master took his one talent and gave it to the man with ten (Matthew 25:28).
- Fifth, he lost his reward (Matthew 25:29b). Had he multiplied his one talent into two, had he been as good a steward of what he had as the others, even though the end result was only two talents, he would have received the same reward as the others, and would have been given more. But he lost his reward because he compared himself to those who had more, decided there was nothing much he could do with what he had, became fearful and lazy, and lost all he had.
Comparing yourself to others can easily cause you to be envious and jealous. I think of the time when Peter fell into this trap after Jesus had risen and was about to ascend back to Heaven. Jesus told Peter that he had plans to use him mightily, but also informed him that he would be required to suffer for the Lord. His prophecy to Peter was: “When you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go. Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God” (John 21:18-19).
Then Peter made the mistake of comparing himself to John. Peter asked Jesus, “What about John?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me?” (John 21:21-22).
I think we can all empathize with Peter because we’ve been there. When something bad happens to us, we tend to think, “Well, what about John? Why should I have to endure all this? John’s no better than me. Don’t I deserve a break today, Lord? At least make everyone else suffer just like me.”
We just must once again acknowledge that God is Sovereign and he does as he pleases. It is his prerogative to lead each of us in whatever paths he chooses. When we start looking at others and thinking they’ve got it easy and we’ve got it hard, then we’re in for trouble. That is envy, that is lack of trust, that is sin.
So many people today think that God is their servant, there to do their bidding. And when he doesn’t come through with equal pay or equal treatment, when they see that someone else has it better or easier, they get upset. Somehow we have to get back to a basic understanding: God is King, we are his servants. He is the one who calls the plays in our lives, not us. And if our lot looks more difficult than others, so be it. As with Peter, the purpose is to glorify God.
Comparing ourselves to others often leads us to envy, and envy leads us into blaming God. Sometimes people will flippantly say “I’m angry with God.” I recognize there are times when those emotions are a part of a transition period when we’ve had a great disappointment or disaster in our lives. But the true servant of God, the person who has a real understanding of who God is, must soon come to the place where he or she says, “He is God, and he does as he pleases. I am his servant.”
When I find myself falling into this pattern of thinking and comparing myself to others and wondering why I can’t have things as easy as they do, I try to immediately remember what Jesus said to Peter, and I say to myself: “What is that to you, Mary? It’s none of your business how God chooses to treat other people. Your job is simply to obey the Lord so that he will be glorified in your life.”
Well, have you been comparing yourself to others? Ask God to forgive you and set you free because it is a sin that enslaves you and causes you to be miserable. Let’s agree that by God’s grace we’ll learn to be thankful for who we are and how God has blessed us, multiplying the resources he has given us to bring glory to his name.