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Have you ever reached something you really wanted—an achievement, a milestone, even a season of life—and then thought, “I expected to feel happier than this”? I want to examine what I call the Joy Gap. Actually, Joy Gap is a term used today to define the space between what you think will bring you joy and what actually does.
For example, you may be experiencing a Joy Gap at work. That would be the gap between what you expect from your work or career, and what you actually feel. I was amazed to learn a recent study shows 61% of workers reported less joy at work than expected, which is a significant increase in the last few years. Furthermore, this Joy Gap at work is not limited to one type of job or career, but affects all industries, all company sizes, and all levels of organizations.
Then there’s the Joy Gap in relationships. That’s the length of time between moments of joy in a relationship. That could be a marriage, a family relationship, a friendship—those important relationships in your life you expect to bring you happiness, but those moments are fewer and fewer and further apart. That’s a Joy Gap.
We all have expectations. We think, “When this happens, I’ll finally feel content.” But then we arrive there—and the joy doesn’t quite match what we imagined—that gap can be confusing and discouraging. You might start to wonder, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I not happier?” But the truth is nothing is wrong with you. You’re just discovering something very important.
You’re learning the things you often depend on for joy were never designed to fully satisfy you—and that includes even the good things. That’s why this Joy Gap matters. It’s not a failure. It’s a signal that maybe you’ve been looking for lasting joy in temporary places.
The good news is there is a source of joy that doesn’t disappoint. A joy that isn’t based on everything going right.
