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You know, one of the characteristics of a godly, truly humble person is to be continually teachable. I’ve often said that I admired this trait in my mother more than any other. She died a few years ago, at the age of 94, but up to the end she was seeking to learn and grow.
One day I was visiting her, just shortly before she died, and we were listening to a Christian program on the radio. The speaker was talking about not complaining and being joyful. My mom looked at me and said, “Mary, do I complain?” I said what was totally true, “Mom, you never complain.” She said, “I don’t want to complain: God has been so good to me.”
At this point in her life some dementia had set in and she wasn’t able to take care of herself any longer. Most of the people around her complained all the time, but not my mom. I’m so grateful that she role-modeled for me what it means to be teachable, truly humble, ever willing to learn and grow and change. How blessed I was to have a mom like her.
All of us can have that same attitude if we’ll just pay attention and learn our lessons along the way.
Life Lesson No. 6: Make every day a special occasion: burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the new shoes.
How many things do you have tucked away, saving them for a special occasion? I was doing some cleaning recently and found some beautiful soap someone had given me, probably two or three years ago, and I had put it away for a “special occasion,” and now it was so old and hard that it isn’t really useful, so I had to throw it away.
I think my mother taught me to “save things for special occasions.” She was raised during the depression, and when she got something nice, she just had a tendency to squirrel it away rather than use it and enjoy it.
You’ve heard people say, “Life’s short: eat dessert first.” Well, life is short, and while we need to be frugal and saving, we also need to celebrate life and enjoy the good things God has given us. We need to make our everyday lives special and teach this to our children as well.
My good friend, Fran, was really good at this. She used the “good stuff” for any excuse, and she could make a very ordinary occasion seem special just by setting a nice table or somehow creating a “special” atmosphere. I remember learning this lesson from her, as she taught a monthly Bible class at our church. I watched her go to so much extra trouble to make the room look nice, get cute decorations, and really go all out on the extras. I remarked at all the extra effort and all the time it took, and she simply said, “This is how I show love to the women who come.” I’ve never forgotten that, and I’ve tried to follow in her steps. The little extras show love and they’re worth the effort.
Paul wrote to Timothy: “Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment” (I Timothy 6:17).
So, make today special. Do something a little unusual—on your job, in your home, at church—that just says, “Today is special, and so are you.” The effort it takes reaps wonderful rewards.
Life Lesson No. 7: Believe it or not, you’re not indispensable. Life will go on without you.
Now we all know in our heads that nobody is indispensable, but too often we behave as though everything depends on us and if we don’t keep running and doing and going, everything will stop!
I remember some years ago when I was directing the handbell choir at our church. Actually I had started the choir and it was my baby. I loved it, and the church seemed to really love hearing the handbells. Then after I began this ministry my life became so busy that I realized I had to give up the choir.
I thought, “Oh dear, the handbell choir will be no more because they won’t have me as their leader,” wrong! The handbell choir is much bigger now, much better, and they have a director who is far more experienced and talented at handbells than I am! I was not indispensable. And indeed by stepping aside, I gave someone else an opportunity to use their gifts in the church.
Many times we are stressed out, doing things God never intended for us to do, because somewhere along the way we’ve deceived ourselves into believing that we have to do it, nobody else will do it, and it has to be done! Or we put time constraints and deadlines on ourselves that are totally unnecessary.
I learned this life lesson years ago from my daughter, when she was a teenager, and we were redecorating her room. We had chosen some new wallpaper, and I had decided it had to go up now, today, this day. So, I was working and fretting and worrying, trying to meet my own artificial and unnecessary deadline. Finally she looked me and said, quite simply, “Mom, we don’t have to finish today.” Duh! So, I stopped and relaxed, and we finished later, and the world kept revolving! Amazing.
So, don’t be afraid to let go; others can pick up the ball and carry on even without you! You may not get everything done the way you hoped, but God will still love you, and the world won’t stop. Remember, there’s only one person in control of the universe, and it’s not you!
Life Lesson No. 8: Don‘t be afraid to ask. The worst they can say is “no.”
James wrote. “You do not have, because you do not ask God” (James 4:2b). And Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Luke 11:9-10).
I could tell you many stories of situations where I’ve just revved up my nerve and asked for something which seemed impossible, and I got it simply because I asked. Obviously, I’m not talking about asking Iitr things for myself but asking for appropriate things for the ministry or for others. Now, I have to tell you that I don’t find it easy to ask. I really have to make myself do it, because I either get intimidated or I think it will appear inappropriate, or in many cases, I just don’t want to humble myself and ask. But I’ve learned that many times people want to be asked and enjoy giving.
Jesus said that no father would give his son a serpent iff he asked for bread. Those of us who are parents know how we love for our children—even the grown ones—to ask us to help them, in moderation, of course. So, don’t be afraid to ask. Even iff you are turned down, you’re no worse off! As James said, often we don’t have simply because we’re afraid to ask.
Life Lesson No. 9: When you’re irritated or frustrated, or facing what seems like a disaster, ask yourself, “What difference will this make in twenty-four hours?”
This is a principle God began to teach me years ago, as I realized that I freaked out over small stuff. Often I didn’t even have a twenty-four perspective, and I began to realize that most of what upset me in a given day was small stuff. It wouldn’t matter really in twenty-four hours.
We so easily lose a realistic perspective when something is affecting us personally. Our emotions get all involved and we blow things out of proportion and we get very stressed over things that don’t really matter.
I’ve written a book called Looking with Forever Eyes, which talks about how to live now in the light of eternity. Nothing will reduce your stress more than learning to look with forever eyes—to see every situation and every person in your life through God’s eyes. When you learn this life lesson, you will experience immense relief from worry and frustration and stress. But I warn you, you have to be intentional about it and you have to work at it everyday.
It begins by praying everyday that God will give you Forever Eyes. Pray for that person who is driving you crazy and ask God to help you see him or her the way God sees them. Ask for an eternal perspective; I promise, you won’t regret it.
Now obviously, there are times when we do face substantive disasters, but those are very few and far between, as a rule, And if we can learn to let go of all the stuff that doesn’t matter, we’ll be far better prepared to deal with the true trials that come our way. I strongly encourage you to put this life lesson into practice in your own life. Believe me, it will make a make a difference. And if you’re interested in ordering my, book, Looking with Forever Eyes, you can find it here.
Life Lesson No. 10: When God gives you a passion, go for it!
You’ll never learn to swim until you get in the water. So, if God has gifted you in some way, or you have a worthwhile desire to do something you’ve never done, just find a way to get started and go for it.
For example, if you want to be a be a speaker, look for opportunities to speak. My friend, Cynthia, joined the Toastmasters Club years ago in order to overcome her stuttering problem and become more confident in front of a group. She’s now held many leadership positions in that organization and she‘s great in front of a group. I use her very often in our programs, she has taught for me several times, and you’d never know that she was ever uneasy about speaking in front of a group. She didn’t wait for someone to open the doors for her. She found a way to go for what she wanted to do.
If you want to be a writer, start writing. Don’t wait for someone to come along and open the doors for you; if it’s a God-given passion, just somehow, someway go for it.
When God gave me a passion to start this radio ministry thirty-seven years ago. I had no idea how to start. I had no connections, no experience, no mentor. But I decided that I could no longer ignore that passion, and after much prayer, I determined to put some kind of a radio program together and take it to someone. Once I stepped out on faith, God began to open the doors, and now we’re heard on over 400 stations internationally.
Don’t ignore God’s passions in your heart; don’t be afraid to take the next step and see what God wants to do. You may need to further your education or seek advice and training. But instead of wishing and hoping and waiting for someone to come along and make it easy for you, find a way to pursue your passion, start small, learn from others, but go for it.
Well, those are some lessons I’ve learned in life that I thought might be helpful to you. If you missed last week’s program, which had the first five life lessons, you’ll find them here.
I just want to encourage you to become more sensitive to the lessons God wants to teach you as you make this journey through life. If you have open ears and open eyes, you’ll learn so much that will help you and things you can pass along to others, as well. This is true on our jobs—learning to avoid mistakes, be more productive, improve our performance, etc. It’s true in our relationships—learning to get along with people better, develop good people skills, etc. It’s true as a disciple of Jesus Christ—learning how to become more like Jesus, transformed into his likeness. This kind of attitude will enrich your life immensely, and so I hope you’ll learn life’s lessons.