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Did you ever see someone literally bang his or her head against a brick wall? We use that phrase a lot, but I’ve never seen anyone purposely do it, have you? If I did, I’d probably think that person was mentally ill. That’s not normal behavior, to inflict physical suffering on your own body. Yet, how often we inflict other kinds of suffering on ourselves—self-inflicted suffering that is unnecessary and does us a great deal of damage.
Bitterness would have to be at the top of that list of self-inflicted suffering. Bitterness is the result of keeping a record of wrongs done against us. It comes from refusing to forgive. It happens when we continually re-live how our feelings were hurt, how our pride was damaged, how our toes were stepped on.
What I’ve discovered is when we harbor feelings of bitterness, the wrong done against us grows in our minds. It becomes greatly exaggerated until we lose our perspective, and it seems much worse than it really is.
Let me tell you the consequences of bitterness. First, it changes your physical appearance and not for the better. A bitter person ages quickly, looks tired and haggard and unattractive. I don’t care how well you dress or how much makeup you wear, bitterness cannot be camouflaged. It makes you look ugly.
Second, bitterness ruins relationships. No one really wants to be with a bitter person, because they get tired of hearing their sad story all the time. Bitter people are so focused on the wrong done to them they tend to talk about it a lot. And, if you’ve noticed, that just drives people away in droves.
Third, bitterness shortens your life because it adds extraordinary amounts of stress and fatigue. It is one of your major energy leaks; it just keeps you exhausted.
Bitterness is self-inflicted suffering. That means anytime you decide to, you can stop suffering from bitterness. Forgiveness is your choice; forsaking your anger is your choice. Tearing up that list of wrongs done to you is your choice. Nobody can force you to be bitter if you don’t want to be. I don’t care how justified you may be in feeling bitter, all it does is destroy you.
Will you stop beating your head against that wall of bitterness today? It’s self-inflicted suffering. Remember, you can choose to let go of the bitterness right now, by God’s grace.