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We all say we have them, but we never take the time to consider what they are -and that is our core values. I work as a clinical psychologist, and this is something that I frequently ask my clients: What are your values?
Every one of my clients would say that they have values but to actually name what they are causes them to pause and consider. And I think it’s incredibly important for us to know at our heart and our core, what our most important values are.
So how do we go about doing that? The first thing to think about is who are all the important people in your life? Who are all those people that have had an influence over you? Maybe it’s a parent, or a grandparent or a former boss maybe it’s somebody who is well-known in the Christian world. Maybe it’s someone you’ve seen on the media. Why is that person important to you? What are the things that they represent that you really resonate with?
Then it’s thinking about the memories in your life – those events, those vacations, those family reunions that really represent things that cause healthy and positive memories in your life. Then the third is objects. We all have objects – for me my Bible is really important to me. And I’ll be honest my smartphone is really important to me. We all have objects in our life that represent something of value.
So we have got persons, memories and objects. Then the final thing is places. What are some of the places in your life? Whether it’s your childhood home, or being at the lake front or the mountains, what are those places that really represent something of significance to you. Then step back and consider what are the themes that run through these values that really suggest why these are important to you. Take time in this. As Hebrews (10:24-25) says it’s important for us to gather together to exhort one another. Seek out your community. Ask for their input. And once you’ve whittled it down, I really think that five core values are the most important. I’ll give you mine: Jesus, relationship, wisdom, authenticity and purpose. Those are my five core values. Once you’ve whittled yours down to five – no more than seven – then start to realize how they impact your daily decisions.
I think of values as the roadblocks or the barriers along the way that keep us in our two-lane highway to get from one direction to the next and to really live out the purpose that God has called us to. Next time you’re faced with a decision – big or small – consider your values as the filter through which you want to guide the direction that you are going.