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(Presented by Lisa Bishop)
Have you ever felt hurt by the words of a good friend? Several years ago a friend gave me some feedback that was really hard to hear. While she didn’t intend her words to be mean, they pierced me. I knew that her intention was not to harm me but to point something out that was a blind spot in my behavior. Even though she spoke those truths out of and in love, her words still stung.
Have you ever had a friend speak painful and plain words that cut? Proverbs 27:6 Amplified version says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern], But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda].”
What these words of wisdom teach us is that a mark of a true friend is the willingness to wound us with words of loving correction. The correction may not feel good at the time (it rarely does) but its purpose is to help us grow and mature us spiritually. Two key words in this verse are “faithful” and “friend.” Both descriptors clarifying that the person is pointing something out stemming from their love for you, commitment to your friendship and investment in your spiritual transformation. The ability to be open and honest with each other, coming from a spirit of love, faithfulness, and integrity, designed for the good of the other person is the mark of a true and deepening friendship. With that intention a friend’s “wounds” should be kindly and gratefully received.
It feels counterintuitive to invite correction in our lives. After all, the culture around us has grown more and more resistant to any type of correction. People do what is right in their own minds and if anyone dares to say anything that may appear critical, it is easily dismissed. But as a follower of Jesus it is important for you to invite faithful and biblical correction in your life. How do you react when someone points out a part of you that needs growth and transformation?
Are you the type of person who is open to receiving feedback from friends that while feeling hurtful may be helpful? It can be easy to feel defensive when your shortcomings are exposed but you simply cannot grow if you recoil from correction. The kisses of an enemy are deceitful. You really don’t want flattery from someone who does not have your best interests in mind. Your aim as a follower of Jesus is to grow in his likeness. And as the Apostle Paul reminds us in Ephesians 4:15 “…speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Who can you invite to speak truth into your life? Nobody’s perfect. Be humble, invite faithful words that wound and be grateful for the greater goal of maturing as someone who loves and follows Jesus.