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This first question is something most if not all of us can relate to. A listener said:
I made a fool out of myself yesterday in front of a man that I’ve been witnessing to at work. I know I’ve blown it and I just want to run away. What do I do?
I know how you feel. We’ve all been in that place where we wished the earth would swallow us up. But believe it or not, this failure on your part can be used by God as a witness to God’s forgiveness and love.
What you have to do now is to find an opportunity alone with that coworker and apologize. Explain that you’ve been convicted of how poorly you acted, and you’ve asked God to forgive you, which he has. Let him know that you are sorry you failed, but you know God has forgiven you and you can start again.
Sometimes failure can be a very effective avenue of witness. You see, that coworker fails, too, but without Jesus, he has no effective way of dealing with the guilt. By owning up to your failure and at the same time sharing God’s forgiveness, your coworker will see grace in action. God’s grace is very attractive and it could be the very example he needs to accept that grace for himself.
Here’s another question you’ll no doubt relate to:
I have a coworker who leads a very immoral life, and I keep trying to witness to her. However, she just makes fun of me. How do I get through to her?
Your coworker is in need of a life-changing relationship with Jesus, and until that happens, you cannot expect her to see her need of a lifestyle change. Pray that God would help you to see beyond her immoral behavior and realize her true need.
Sometimes a verbal witness is not a wise approach for some people, and that could be true for this coworker. Jesus warned us not to throw our pearls to pigs, meaning don’t try to force a witness on someone who has no respect or regard for the great value of the gospel.
I would advise you to stop trying to witness verbally. Find other ways to show God’s love to this woman. Do things for her that are extra-mile actions. Pray much for her. She knows you don’t approve of her immoral lifestyle; you don’t need to point that out. Make it your objective to allow God’s love to come through you to her. Then leave the results up to the Lord. Remember, our job is simply to sow seeds of kindness and love. The Holy Spirit is in charge of the results.
Now, this next question has probably happened to many of us. A listener wrote:
During the recent election I got into a heated argument with a coworker about abortion. I just can’t believe she thinks it’s okay to kill unborn babies. How do I convince her?
You probably will never convince her to change her views on abortion. That has to be a heart change, which only God can effect.
I often remind myself that I would be in the “feminist” camp if it weren’t for Jesus in my life. What seems so obvious to us as Christians is foolishness to those without Christ. Paul wrote: “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1 Corinthians 1:18).
In the second chapter he again says, “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit” (1 Corinthians 2:14).
It should not shock you to discover that people without God’s Spirit see nothing wrong with abortion – or other sins, for that matter. They are spiritually blind, and instead of being frustrated with them, we need to be compassionate and patient.
Begin by sincerely praying that your coworker will come to saving faith in the Lord. That is her core problem, not her beliefs on abortion.
I would back away from any further discussion on the topic. Certainly it doesn’t benefit anything to get into an argument with her about it. If she brings it up, admit that you have a strong difference of opinion but don’t allow yourself to be pulled into a verbal argument.
Your lifestyle, your loving attitude, and the difference that she sees in the way you respond to her and others will have a far greater effect than any words you can say. Only God can change her mind. You are there to let God’s love flow through you to her. The rest is God’s business, not yours.
Maybe you’ve been thinking about this question as well. A listener asked:
How important is it to dress professionally? I have always been a casual dresser, but now I’m a manager and I wonder if I need to dress differently.
“Dress for success” is a well-known phrase, and there is definitely some truth in the fact that your dress creates an impression that affects how people think about you. If a more professional appearance will help you be more effective in your job, then it would be smart to do that. Otherwise, you’re making your job more difficult.
In 1 Timothy 2:9 we read that women should dress modestly, with decency and propriety. Our clothes should not only reflect our professionalism, but also present a good testimony for Christ. Some fashions that may be acceptable in our society wouldn’t pass God’s modesty test. We need to have strong standards about how we dress, not becoming a slave to the fashion industry, but dressing so that the name of Jesus is honored in our appearance.
You may need to upgrade your casual look a bit so that your appearance works for you not against you, especially now that you are in management. Remember that people do judge books by their cover, and that first impression is very strong. Before you open your mouth, your appearance speaks very loudly.
But remember that while the outside is important, God looks on the heart, and that is even more important. So be sure you dress the inner person each day with the garments described in Colossians 3:12 – 14:
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
That is your most important wardrobe; focus more attention to dressing the inner person than you do the outer person.
Here’s another question:
Last week I lied to my boss when she asked me if I had finished a job. Quickly I did what I told her I had already done, but I feel guilty because I did lie to her. Do I need to tell her?
The fact that you feel guilty about this is a pretty good indication that you need to come clean with your boss and tell her the truth. Some people would call this a “little white lie,” but lying is an abomination to God and no lie is little or white.
Jesus told us that the devil is a liar. When we lie we are speaking his language. I would explain to her that this has been bothering you and you want to tell her the complete truth. She will recognize that you didn’t have to come clean but you chose to do the right thing. You have a duty to tell the truth, and I would do it right away.
And then one last question:
I try to be a good worker, as well as a good mom and wife, but quite frankly, I’m tired all the time and I just don’t have the energy to do everything everybody wants me to do. I feel like a failure but I’m just so tired.
Trying to jump through everyone’s hoops is exhausting. No doubt you are both physically and emotionally exhausted.
The first thing you need to do is learn to say “no.” You cannot be all things to all people, and you must draw some boundary lines in your life. Those boundaries need to be based on biblical priorities, and that might mean a job change or crossing some activities off your list.
Are you prone not to ask or allow others to help you? Perhaps you’re trying to be a superwoman. Your family should share the household chores on a regular basis. Set up a schedule and ask them to help.
If you’re short-changing your time with the Lord, that amplifies your problem because you’re running in your own strength, not the Lord’s strength. Much of this may be self-inflicted.
A final consideration is your physical condition. Are you doing the things necessary to keep your strength and energy strong? Good eating habits and regular exercise are important elements in maintaining a high energy level.
If your exhaustion continues even when you take necessary steps to avoid the superwoman syndrome, then you certainly should see your doctor to determine if there is a physical reason for the way you feel.