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Presented by Julie Busteed
Growing up, for as long as I can remember, the one thing I truly dreamed about was having a family. I imagined what we would do together, what our children’s names would be, what kind of house we would live in, and what life together would look like.
When my husband and I got married, we planned for a family. After some time passed and I still wasn’t pregnant, I began to worry. That started the long process of doctor appointments, testing, and trying to figure out what was wrong. Every month became a roller coaster of hope followed by disappointment.
At one point, testing revealed what might have been an issue. Once it was resolved, I remember thinking, “That was the problem. Now that it’s fixed, the Lord will bless us.” But that’s not what happened. Later, there were other issues that needed to be addressed, and again I thought, “Now that this has been resolved, surely the Lord will bless us with a child.” But again, no.
Many people were praying for us, and many offered advice. We explored different options, but it all felt overwhelming. I remember thinking, “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to happen.” Why did it seem so easy for others and not for me? Why was God blessing others and not me? Was I somehow not good enough to be a mother? There were so many tears over those years. So much loneliness. So many moments of feeling forgotten.
It was a season of deep lament—the death of a long hoped-for dream. And through it all, I was trying so hard to control the outcome.
Then one day, I finally sensed the Lord asking me, “Do you trust me? Do you trust me even if you don’t get the life you always dreamed of? Am I still Lord of your life?”
Both then and now, my answer is yes.
Our story does not have the “happy ending” people might expect. We were never able to have children. And honestly, I still don’t understand why. Medically, no clear explanation was ever found. We live with the unanswered questions and the not knowing. But we also live knowing that God is still good, still faithful, and still worthy of our trust. He has blessed us in countless other ways.
Are you in a similar situation where the Lord is asking you to trust him no matter what? I don’t have an easy answer for you—except that it is simple. Trust God. Know him more and more. Dig into his Word. Be in community with other Christ-followers. Continue to talk to him and bring all your cares to him. Let him carry them. His burden is light and his yoke is easy. Continue to praise him, even if it feels awkward or fake. Your emotions will follow the praise and worship you give to God.
There is hope. Eternal hope.
