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Presented by Lisa Bishop
Whether you have been a follower of Jesus for two months or 20-plus years, we all have something in common. At some point or dare I say several times in your Christian walk, you will doubt the faithfulness of God. You will struggle to trust him. That’s the honest truth. And frankly, I think we need to talk about that more and normalize it in our Christian circles. All throughout God’s Word we see examples and stories of people doubting if God is trustworthy. We see the Psalmists and some of the greatest heroes of the faith struggling to believe at times.
Yet even though we see evidence throughout Scripture of wavering faith (let’s not forget about Doubting Thomas), I think we are so afraid of being shamed or condemned for questioning that we sit in our disillusion, silently suffering. We think something is wrong with us. Something is wrong with our faith. “Why does it look like everyone else’s life is so good, that God is faithful to others, but I don’t feel like he cares about me?” If you have ever heard yourself thinking that or even saying it out loud, you are not the only one. I have as well. So, it’s not a matter of if you will wonder if God is really trustworthy, if he is faithful, you will. What matters is your response….what you do, in those moments or seasons when you doubt the faithfulness of God.
The other day I was doing my morning quiet time, which is a time of stillness before the Lord, journaling, praying, and reading Scripture. When I journal, I typically start out by reflecting on the prior day by writing down my daily gratitude list and telling God what I am thankful for. This has become a daily habit; expressing appreciation for anything from a cool breeze and sunny day to time with my mom, a new work project, a divine encounter with a person God brings in my path, dinner with friends, patience to endure a frustrating situation with grace. There is a lot to be grateful for when you sit down and intentionally take the time to consider all of the ways God is present and providing. On this particular day, my journaling started differently. Instead of starting with my gratitude list, my pen uttered honest words that my heart was speaking that morning. I journaled, “Today I woke up with a fear of the future. But I will choose to trust.”
That morning I found myself a bit bewildered and uncertain about the future. As I was reflecting on my life and current circumstances, I found myself wondering, “Is this it?” I went on to write, “I desire to be in the flow of my calling and giftedness, Lord. Am I missing it?” And then the words, “What if” spilled onto the pages.
What if? Have you ever found yourself asking that question? What if I had made a different decision, taken another path, acted on that prompting, not taken that job, taken that job, gotten that degree, married that person, not married that person, said yes to…., said no to ……. What would life have been like if only I had…… (fill in the blank).
Trying to play out the “what could have been” in life reminds me of the movie Sliding Doors. The movie tells the story of a London woman whose life and career both hinge, unknown to her, on whether or not she catches a train. The main character, Helen Quilley gets fired from her job as a public relations executive. As she leaves the office building, she drops an earring in the lift, and a man picks it up for her. This minor delay has her rushing for her train on the London Underground, but she misses it as the train doors are closed. But the film then rewinds, and the scene is replayed except that now she manages to board the train. The film continues, alternating between the two storylines in which different events ensue. In one story we see how her life plays out when she gets on the train. In the second scenario, we see how her life unfolds and what happens when she misses the train. In essence, her future, the trajectory of her life, is determined in a matter of seconds, in a subway. We see that “What if” play out on screen and get a birds eye view to the answer. If we are honest we can find ourselves asking the same thing when it comes to our lives. “What if….”
The “What if” list can go on and on. And if you are not careful it can turn into a long ledger of regrets, holding you hostage, and keeping you stuck. While I am incredibly grateful for my life and all of the ways the Lord has guided and provided for me, there have been times I have wondered, “What would have happened if I made different decisions and choices in my 20’s. Would that have changed where I am now relationally, financially, geographically?” Have you wondered, “Did I mess up God’s will for my life? Did I miss his plan?”
Unlike the movie Sliding Doors, you will not know “what if,” but you serve a sovereign God who does. Your life does not hinge on one decision it hangs on the holiness, faithfulness, and trustworthiness of God. And that my friend is where faith in the trustworthiness of God is something you must cultivate and grow as you continue to mature in your relationship with Jesus.
God’s ways are mysterious and as his words in Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. . . . As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” When you think about your life and current and future circumstances, remember that God’s ways and infinite thoughts are far greater than your limited ability to comprehend them. God’s ways are higher than your ways because his ways are always part of a bigger plan that you cannot see. You only see a small piece of the puzzle; God sees everything. And all of his ways are good and righteous.
When your desire is to live in step with his plan, you can have confidence that, even when detours and disappointments happen, God is still in control. The reality is that the human heart is filled with questions for God. “Why?” “When?” “How?” We often wrestle with faith because of those questions and wonder how can we fully trust a God we don’t understand? How can we have faith when God’s ways seem unfair and dare I say cruel at times?
When you try to comprehend God’s ways, you can become frustrated. His ways are higher than our ways, and his actions often do not make sense to our earthly minds. And as it relates to the proverbial sliding doors and “what ifs” in your life remember truth. God is bigger than your decisions.
As you do your best to seek the Lord, honor him, walk in holiness, and make choices that are aligned with truth in his Word, God will guide you. If your regrets from the past are a result of sin, surely you are called to confess to God. And when you do, you will be forgiven. God does not hold your sin against you. That doesn’t mean to take sin lightly. Repentance is a necessary practice for all who love and follow Jesus.
Either way, dwelling on the past will paralyze you. Rather than asking “What if,” and living in the past, seek what God is doing and calling you to in this present moment. It is futile and pointless to try to figure out what could have been. You cannot change the past but you have a heavenly Father who holds your future. Don’t “what if” yourself to death and swim in the quicksand of regret. Spending too much time in the rearview mirror will only distract you from what God is inviting you into and calling you to now.
So, in light of that truth, let’s change that nagging past focused question of “what if” into a more faith-filled, productive, and life-giving one, “Lord, what now.” Because today is the beginning of the rest of your life. As you present this question to God there are a few things to consider. The first is this, do you really desire to know and do the will of God or have you already made up your mind and you just want him to validate your vision and put a rubber stamp on it? As you seek the will of God you have to earnestly seek and walk with God, surrender your will to God, and obey what you already know about him. Meaning, are you in the Word of God to know what it looks like to make choices in alignment and live according to it?
Proverbs 3:5-6 are an exhortation from King Solomon to his son, urging him to trust wholeheartedly in the Lord. He cites some of the valuable results of obedience and trust.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
The Message version says, “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all.”
A key word here is trust. This word translated from the Hebrew word bāṭaḥ (buhtack) means to put confidence in, to be secure in, to feel safe. Do you trust God? Do you believe as Romans 8:28 says, that he is working all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose? Trusting God with all your heart is a determination to submit your understanding, your mind, your thoughts, your emotions,…..everything in you, to trust in his character.
I’m not saying that is always easy. And I will say it again because it is so incredibly vital to living a faith-filled life. You have to be in the Word of God to know the character of God. That he is all-knowing, all powerful. He is the God who sees and speaks, he knows you, he is for you, he lavishes his love, grace, and favor on you. His Spirit guides you. It can be tempting to lean on your own understanding and limited knowledge rather than sit in the presence of God, be still before him and train your ears to hear his voice.
As you seek God ask him to increase your sensitivity to his Holy Spirit who is your guide and your counselor. And as Proverbs 3:6 says, “In all your ways acknowledge him.” When you acknowledge God you are intentionally learning to know him, to perceive, to discern, discriminate, and distinguish his voice. God does not play hide and seek. Praise him and thank him that he is always present and with you, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
Ask him to help you think clearly and biblically about decisions in front of you. When you ask for wisdom believe God is going to give it to you. God isn’t trying to conceal his good will from you. Be patient. Be mindful of the times you demand an answer from God in your timing. Trust that he wants to help you understand the right way to walk.
As you earnestly pray for his direction, consider him in all your ways, and obey him, he will make your path straight, he will show you the way. This does not mean that there will not be bumps and disappointments along the way. Life is messy and not without troubles. But do not rely on self-sufficiency and self-dependence, rely on Jesus. Instead of trusting in your own wisdom and ability, live with an attitude and heart posture of devoted trust in God and be assured that God will direct you in every aspect of your life. As you ask him, “what now,” he will remove obstacles as he leads you.
As I have earnestly sought God’s voice and direction, Psalm 143:8,10 are verses I have prayed for several years. These divine words are a reminder of God’s unfailing love and his providence in our lives, especially in times of fear, uncertainty, or doubt. They have become the meditation of my heart.
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life….Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground”
In this Psalm King David is crying out to God from a time of crisis and affliction, seeking the Lord’s direction. When you are in the midst of uncertainty or difficulty, you will thrive when you are inquiring of and cooperating with the wisdom of God. Receiving his unfailing love and knowing that his heart towards you is one of goodness and faithfulness. His words are loving and kind. In this verse we see that David needed to hear a good word from God, perhaps he wondered if God was somehow speaking and he was failing to hear it, so he prayed, “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love…..Cause me to hear.” This is a good prayer for all of us to pray.
Where are you desiring to hear God’s voice and direction in your life? Ask your Heavenly Father what he wants you to do, see, and know. Ask him to help you not miss the ways he is providing, inviting, and guiding you in this very moment. Seek him and a greater sensitivity and alignment to his Holy Spirit.
As you ask him, “What now, Lord?” Make the request of the Psalmist in 119:133 your request to Holy Spirit. “Direct my footsteps according to Your Word.” In all your ways acknowledge him, and trust that he is and will continue to guide your path.