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On this particular day Fran is rushing to get a proposal finished for an early meeting tomorrow with a new client. She talks to the Jesus, as she has learned to do throughout her day. “You know, Jesus, I’ll be glad when this is finished; Ben made a few more changes. Now I’ve got to get Joyce to make the changes and re-print it. Jesus, I just dread even approaching Joyce. She has such a rotten attitude. When you ask her to do anything, she’s as sour as a lemon, she’s lazy, and her work is poor.”
Fran listens to her words and then says, “I know what you’re thinking, Jesus. Joyce is a challenge for me, and I know—nobody is in my life by accident.” That’s a lesson Fran has to keep re-learning because like most of us, relationships can be her greatest challenge.
Fran continues her conversation with Jesus. “The truth is, she drives me crazy! After all, she is the administrative assistant for the department. It’s her job to help us with these projects. But she acts like she’s doing you a favor when she does her job. I just can’t stand people with lazy attitudes.” Fran expresses her feelings to Jesus.
Fran stops in her tracks and reminds herself again that no one is in her life by accident. “This is such a hard lesson for me to learn, Jesus. My human thinking tells me that a person who causes me trouble and makes my life more difficult surely can’t be a good thing. Yet I know that the relationships of my life teach me so much about trusting you and being more like you.”
“You may not think Joyce is doing you any good,” Jesus says to her, “but often I work in you through other people. And besides, Joyce needs you in her life.”
Fran really doesn’t want to hear that at this moment when she is so frustrated with Joyce. She knows that Jesus means she should be compassionate and caring toward Joyce, but she still can’t help thinking that all Joyce has to do is what she’s paid to do. She thinks out loud, “I’m not supposed to baby her when she’s so lazy, am I?”
“No, not baby her, but love her,” Jesus reminds her. “You know, I love her just as much as I love you.”
Fran wrinkles her nose. “Frankly, Jesus,” she responds, “I thought you had better taste.” She says it with a chuckle, but she knows it reveals her inward feelings. “Besides, how can I love someone I don’t even like?” she asks.
Fran heaves a sigh and heads to Joyce’s desk. “Joyce, here’s the last changes to the Walton proposal. I changed the PowerPoint and it really needs to be perfect. Unfortunately, that means changing all the handouts as well, and redoing that Excel budget sheet. So, please make those changes and send it to me. I’ll need it before you leave today if you don’t mind,” Fran says, trying to sound pleasant.
“If I don’t mind?” Joyce replies. “Well, I do mind. It’s 4:00 and I leave here at 4:30. Why’d you wait so late to give it to me?” Joyce snatches it from Fran’s hand as she slowly puts down the magazine she was reading.
“Joyce, I just got the changes from Ben. You know it has to be done today. Sorry, but that’s the way it is,” Fran says with irritation in her voice.
At that very moment a verse from Proverbs comes to Fran’s mind. “Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.”
“But, Jesus,” she thinks, “all I’m asking is for her to do her job. If she’d get busy, she could have it done in less than an hour. I just don’t feel like babying her; she doesn’t deserve it.”
The words seem to echo in her head “I don’t feel like it. . . I don’t feel like it. . .” And Jesus reminds her again that if she runs on her feelings, she’ll never be able to love people she doesn’t like. Love is an action, and she has to do the right thing, whether she feels it or not.
Fran turns to Joyce again, and with great effort says, “Look, Joyce, I know it’s late; I wish I could have gotten it to you sooner. But I really would appreciate your help. I don’t think you’ll have to work much past 4:30. I’ll be in my office if you have any questions.”
“Much better,” she can hear that inner voice confirm the way she handled the situation. “But,” she thinks, “I said it through clinched teeth. I didn’t feel like being nice. I just did it because. . . because. . .”
And then she realizes she did the right thing because of Jesus—because he was there listening and she wanted to please him. She recognizes that what is difficult to do for others she can do for Jesus.
“Thank you, Jesus,” she inaudibly prays, “for never leaving me or forsaking me. Thanks for your presence in every moment of my life. Thanks for giving me the power to do what I could never do on my own. Please don’t give up on me. I know I’m a slow learner in this area but help me to learn how to love like you do.”
Joyce’s voice almost startles Fran. “Okay, well, yeah—okay, I’ll try to get it done.” Fran can see a slight change in her attitude. “Thanks, Joyce,” she says.
On the way home from work this day, Fran again talks to Jesus: “Thanks for bringing that verse from Proverbs to my mind about choosing my words carefully. But really, I shouldn’t have to baby Joyce just to get her to do her work. Nobody babies me.”
Amazing how quickly the “old self” raises its ugly head again, and Fran is once more thinking about how wrong Joyce is and that very easily can lead to a pity-party. But as soon as she says the words, she is ashamed of herself, for she recognizes that while maybe nobody babies her, she has the constant presence and help of the Lord himself and his Spirit living in her. And Joyce doesn’t.
“I wonder what Joyce’s life is like,” Fran says to Jesus. “I really don’t know her very well. All I know is she’s divorced, has a two-year-old boy, I think, and from what I hear, I guess she has a lot of financial problems.” Fran tries to piece together what she does know about Joyce.
As she thinks about Joyce, she realizes that she has some things in common with her. “Why don’t you get to know her better?” Jesus puts this idea in her mind.
“You mean because I’m a single mom, too? Yeah, but beyond that we certainly don’t have anything in common. She’s not my type, Jesus; I don’t think so,” Fran tries to dismiss the suggestion.
“She’s my type, Fran, and she’s not in your life by accident,” Jesus again reminds her of this truth.
“Okay, okay, so what do you want me to do?” Fran asks as she thinks about this. She answers her own question. “Well, for sure I could pray for her every day. Then I guess I could invite her to lunch and just get to know her better. Pray for her and invite her to lunch. Yeah, I guess I can do that,” Fran agrees. “Can’t say I want to, but since you suggested it, I will,” she tells Jesus.
Fran decides to see if Joyce will have lunch with her tomorrow, but again she prays, “I’ll do my best, but you know I’ll need your help because I don’t feel like doing it,” Fran confesses.
She is assured of his presence and his strength to do this. And with that she pulls into the parking lot at the grocery store. Fran hurries down the aisles of the store, grabbing the few items she needs, darting in between the other shoppers, trying to avoid a collision with her cart.
“Let’s see, Rice Krispies, milk, and bread. Was there anything else? Oh yeah, I promised the kids ice cream,” Fran remembers. As she heads to the ice cream freezer, she hears her name.
“Fran, Fran – hi.” She turns to see her neighbor, Sue.
“Oh, hi, Sue. It’s good to see you. My goodness, you’d think being neighbors that we’d run into each other more often, but it must be a couple of months since I’ve seen you. How’re you doing?” Fran asks.
“Well, okay, I guess,” Sue stammers a bit. “Well, Fran I might as well tell you. Ed moved out a few weeks ago and….” Sue is obviously in pain.
“Oh, Sue, I…I didn’t know. I guess you’ve been having some rough times.” Fran’s not sure what to say. You see, Sue and Ed have been living together for about a year, talking about getting married, but never doing so. While Fran has tried to be a friend to Sue, she obviously hasn’t approved of her lifestyle.
“Yeah, well—I keep remembering that conversation you and I had a few months ago, Fran. You said that I was leaving myself open for a lot of hurt and pain, and that if Ed really loved me, he’d be willing to make a commitment. I guess you were right,” Sue admits.
A tear starts down her face, and she struggles to gain control. Fran says, “Sue, I was afraid you’d be hurt; I was just concerned for you.”
“I know,” Sue replies, “I should have listened to you. But everybody lives together these days, so I thought it would work for me, too. Well, this is not the place to talk about it,” Sue replies, as other shoppers pass by.
“No, you’re right, Sue. Listen, let’s get together soon and talk. I have good ears; I can listen,” Fran offers.
“Oh, Fran, that would be great. I really need someone to talk to, and I was thinking about calling you, but I know you’re so busy, with your job and the kids. I just hate to disturb you,” Sue says, with hopeful eyes.
“Well, I’m not that busy. I’ll call you soon and we’ll get together, okay,” Fran asks, looking at her watch and realizing she needs to get going.
Sue senses her restlessness. “Sure, call me,” she replies, with disappointment in her voice. Fran checks out, throws the groceries in the car, and hurries home.
On the way Jesus says to her, “Sue needs a friend now, doesn’t she?”
“Yeah, she does. I’ll call her soon,” Fran responds.
“She needs a friend now,” Jesus repeats, somewhat emphatically.
“What’s the point, Jesus? Are you saying I should invite her over tonight? You know, I haven’t had one night to myself in two weeks. I deserve a little peace and quiet, don’t I?” Fran asks, and immediately hears the selfishness in her voice.
She instinctively knows what Jesus is thinking. “Okay, tonight. I’ll call her when I get home,” she says. And with that, she pulls into her driveway and Fran puts on her “mother hat” to begin her second and most important job with her two children.
Fran’s learning what we all have to learn: You don’t have to like someone to love them. And caring for someone, reaching out with the love of Jesus, can be inconvenient and require some self-sacrifice.