I want to tell you what nearly destroyed my wonderful relationship with my husband, Rod…Jealousy! Yes, that ugly and demonic thing.

I married in New York City (that’s where I was born and raised) but I moved to North Carolina because Rod worked for a Christian Television Network there. I was away from my family, away from my home church, with no friends, and my husband was working at a place that seemed to have beautiful women everywhere! Beautiful hostesses and singers, beautiful producers, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girls seemed to inundate my insecure and weak mind. Every pretty face threatened me and so I vigorously tried to justify the way I felt. I said bad things about one particular girl, just to make her look bad. Jealousy turned me into such a monster that without any reason I would lash out at Rod and accuse him of wrongdoing!

Jealousy was destroying our marriage. It got so bad that I scared myself! So, I went to see a biblical counselor. Here’s what she finally said to me: “Dámaris, I rebuke you. It is obvious you are not a woman of the Word. God put you and Rod together for his glorious purpose and the enemy is trying to destroy your marriage. You need to repent and start reading your Bible.” My eyes opened real wide but I left there willing to do what she asked me to do.

Is jealousy ruining a relationship you have? Jealousy comes in many different forms. It could be a coworker that’s better at what she does than you are. It could be someone’s child gets better grades than your child. Remember that Satan is the first one who became jealous, and he lost everything because of it.

Listen to what James, the brother of Jesus Christ, says in chapter 3 verse 15: “For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.”

That is so true. The first step to rid yourself of this horrendous state is to admit you are jealous. John 8:32 says, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Only Jesus can free you from that ugly jealousy. And that will only happen when you know and admit that you are indeed jealous!

What I truly needed was to see that my jealousy was unfounded and wrong. I needed to repent. Listen, my dear friend, there will always be someone prettier, smarter, more creative, more talented, more understanding, more whatever, than you! But God made YOU for His glory and you need to see that jealousy is a way of being obsessed with yourself and that’s idolatry. Want to have a better relationship with those you are jealous of? Repent and ask God to make you grateful for the very thing that makes them so special in your eyes.