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I’ve been examining how we can do a better job connecting with people. First Peter 4:9 exhorts us to offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. How do we show hospitality to one another?

Well, there are myriads of ways to do that, but it means you will have to see yourself as the host or hostess rather than the guest. Someone who shows hospitality takes on the responsibility to make others comfortable, to serve their needs, to initiate a welcoming environment, to make the first move. That could be in any situation—at home, at work, at church, while shopping or traveling, etc. Show hospitality to others.

Sometimes it simply means taking time to recognize someone and greet them, calling them by name if possible. Sometimes it means interrupting your own plans to help someone out. It could mean inviting people to your home for a meal or taking time to listen to someone’s problem. It will require a servant attitude, a willingness to put others first, and truly connect with them.

Peter says we are to show hospitality without grumbling. That tells me showing hospitality is not always easy to do. Putting others first requires an attitude that has to come from God’s power in us, not from our own selves. It’s possible to be hospitable with the wrong spirit—with a grumbling spirit.

If you’re serious about connecting with others and fulfilling this hospitality challenge, you’ll need to pray about it. Pray God will give you both the desire and the power to want to connect with others, to expend the energy, time, and resources that will be required to put others first and die to your own selfish desires.

Here’s the good news: When you learn to do this, you reap wonderful benefits. You discover dying to yourself brings new life, as Jesus promised. When we get ourselves out of the way and make it a daily practice to put others first, we move into that abundant life Jesus came to give us. It’s one of the paradoxes of the Christian life—that if we want to be the greatest, we must be a servant. By God’s grace and for his glory, that can become a reality in our lives.