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I know that at this time of year many people are especially lonely. Psalm 68:6 says, “God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.” I have found this verse to be exactly true in my life. As I have allowed God to make a home for me and to accept his presence as sufficient in my life, I have been set free from the awful heaviness of loneliness.

That verse says only the rebellious dwell in a parched land. When we refuse to allow God to be our cure for loneliness, when we continue to try to do it our way and fill the empty void with people and activities, we’ll continue to find loneliness our companion. Your feelings of loneliness may be because you are still rebelling against God’s answers. You don’t like the idea of learning to let him fill up your empty time and change your lonely feelings. As long as you continue to rebel, you will continue to live in that parched land of loneliness.

There’s no doubt God created us for fellowship and companionship, and we need people in our lives, too. When Jesus was facing crucifixion, he took his three closest companions with him while he prayed. He needed God’s presence, and he needed their presence and support. The Apostle Paul spoke of his need to be with his companions and his encouragers.

If you are lonely because you don’t have a good friend or friends or they’re not nearby, I would remind you that you have to reach out to others and be a friend in order to have friends. Ask yourself what you could do for someone else to be their friend and to meet their need, instead of waiting for someone to be your friend. We reap what we sow—that’s a biblical principle. If you want friendships, sow friendships; become a friend to others.

Loneliness can be very crippling, and it is at epidemic levels these days, but you can take positive steps—by God’s grace—to overcome those depressing feelings of loneliness. Of course, the most important step to take is to spend time developing your relationship with Jesus through Bible study and prayer. He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother, and believe me, he is capable of filling that lonely space inside of you.