When was the last time you encountered a rude person—maybe even on your job? You know, the practice of good manners in general has dismally diminished in our day—probably has something to do with the rise of technology, but also it seems our children are not taught at home simple polite manners. So, it’s bound to show up on the job. And you know, even when we know what we should do, sometimes we just forget or we’re too rushed to simply practice good manners.

Don’t you think as Christians in the workplace our manners should shine, because good etiquette is simply being considerate of others? And you know, sometimes we don’t even realize that our manners are not what they should be because we’ve just gotten into some ruts that we need to get out of! So, let’s talk about workplace etiquette.

Telephone etiquette would be a good place to start. In my book How to Thrive from 9 to 5 I have an entire chapter on this topic, because it’s easy to damage your company’s image, as well as your own, with poor telephone etiquette. Here are a few basics:

  • Make sure you speak clearly and are smiling as you answer the phone; also identify yourself.
  • Before placing a caller on hold, ask their permission first and thank them.
  • It is better to return a call than to keep someone on hold too long.
  • Do not forget to return calls as promised.
  • Try to always answer the phone before the fourth ring.
  • Do not make it a habit of receiving personal calls at work.
  • Do not talk on the phone while you are eating or chewing gum.
  • Return calls promptly that have been left on voice mail.
  • Avoid phrases that can sound offensive, like “Who’s calling?” or “What’s this about?” There are nicer ways to get information, such as “May I ask who is calling?” or “Perhaps I can help you. Are you calling about your account?” That way, they can say yes, or give you the correct reason for the call, but it won’t be offensive.
  • When transferring calls, avoid the possibility of sending the caller on a wild goose chase. If you don’t know where to transfer, offer to find out and call that person back.

Now we have cell phones which seem to invade our lives from every direction. We definitely need to practice some rules of cell phone etiquette. Here are a few to keep in mind while at work:

  • If you must have your cell phone on during meetings, switch to a silent ringer and check your messages during breaks. Keep your voice down to a reasonable level.
  • If you are discussing sensitive or confidential information, remember to talk in an area out of other listeners’ earshot.
  • Refrain from using your cell phones for personal use unless it is really necessary.

Second Corinthians 8:21 says:

“For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of men.”

Good telephone etiquette is one way we can take pains to do what is right, and that will make a difference in our testimony as a believer.

Here are some other areas where we need to be on our toes in the workplace:

  • Be careful of how loud you speak, especially if you share office space with others, and most of us do these days. If you tend to have a loud voice on the phone or in conversations, that can become very irritating and truly distracting to others.
  • Don’t use terms of endearment in the workplace. You may have become accustomed to using terms like “honey” or “dear” or “sweetie” and mean no harm whatsoever, but believe me, it is not professional and it could get you in some hot water if someone considers it sexual harassment.
  • Maintain a tidy workspace, especially if it can be seen by customers. Develop some disciplines of putting work away in some organized manner. Messiness and clutter will send a very negative message about you to others, and it is not conducive for productivity. It clutters your mind as well as your workspace!
  • Remember that the workplace is not the place for solving emotional problems or conducting personal counseling sessions. While it’s important to be transparent and real, it is not good manners to spread your personal concerns everywhere you go. Don’t expect the people in your workplace to provide the emotional support you need. That’s why you need to be involved in a good church and a small group Bible study.
  • Don’t engage in office gossip and boss-bashing. Avoiding gossip is not only good manners, it is a biblical principle, and when we allow ourselves to get caught up in the gossip sessions, it is disobedience to God’s Word. Besides, it will come back to haunt you someday.
  • Don’t overlook the power of non-verbal communication. A smile can change the atmosphere, a firm handshake is a positive gesture, whereas a wimpy one is negative; looking people in the eye when you speak with them communicates a caring attitude. It’s really smart to be aware of the messages you are sending non-verbally, because they are very loud.
  • Develop good listening skills. That’s one way to demonstrate simple courtesy—to listen to others, without interrupting them or finishing their sentences. And it’s important to give that person your full attention, which means don’t multi-task while you’re supposed to be listening!

Does it matter what you wear to work each day? Many people think that the clothes we wear have nothing to do with the quality of our work, and therefore, it should not matter. But the truth is, people judge books by their cover—and they judge us by what we wear. Whether you like it or not, that is the truth.

Furthermore, studies have proven that the way we dress affects our own attitude toward our work, and therefore our work product. Obviously, different jobs have different dress codes or dress etiquette. A nurse is going to dress differently than a truck driver! So, you need to make an assessment of what is proper for your job. Look around you, especially at the people who are successful on your job, who have done well, who are thought of as professional and reliable, hard-working and honest. What do they wear on the job? You can probably take some lessons from seeing how they dress.

I would be skeptical of a lawyer who was not dressed in business attire. I would think it strange if a maintenance person was wearing a business suit. We have certain expectations based on the job, and while you can be a good lawyer without wearing business attire, you would make your job much more difficult by doing so because you’d have to work much harder at gaining credibility. Remember, people do judge books by their cover.

There are certain rules of modesty that apply, no matter where we work. Most of these apply to what women wear, because it’s not often we see a man who is dressed immodestly! Maybe inappropriately or messy, but rarely immodest. But ladies, we must be careful. Outfits that show cleavage are never modest, at work or anywhere else. Tops and pants that are too tight are never modest, even on casual Friday. Spaghetti string tops are not meant for the job. Skirts that are too short are inappropriate on the job and elsewhere.

If you really want to be sure that you dress appropriately and make the right impression, go the extra mile and lean toward being conservative. Wear suits and pant suits; in most environments you are well-advised to avoid wearing jeans. Focus on making a good first impression by dressing appropriately. You will discover that it serves you very well to do so, and it also will present a good testimony as a disciple of Jesus Christ.

In her book, Socially Smart in 60 Seconds, Deborah Pegues lists the most cited pet peeves of people. It’s helpful to think about these, and make sure we are not guilty of doing these things. Here are some of the pet peeves from her list:

  • Cell phone users who engage in loud, personal conversations in public places
  • Retail clerks or grocery checkers who are mean, indifferent, or refuse to say “hello”
  • People who slurp, smack, or suck their teeth when eating
  • People who pop gum or chew it loudly
  • People who interrupt someone when having a conversation
  • People who stand too close and violate your personal space
  • Coworkers or employees who goof-off and engage in extended personal conversations
  • People who bark orders, make demands, and treat everybody as their servants
  • A person who brags about everything and anything
  • Managers who reprimand employees publicly
  • Being put on a speaker phone without permission

Well, can you relate to some of these? No doubt you could add a few pet peeves of your own. But remember what Jesus said:

“How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:4-5).

We really need to focus on our own behavior, our own little irritable ways, and pray that God will help us to improve in these areas. Nothing is too small to pray about. When you recognize some areas of etiquette that you need to improve, just start praying that God will remind you and motivate you to want to change in that area. And remember this, if you don’t take care of these “little things” while they are still little, they will get much larger and become major irritants to others.

I hope you take seriously the challenge to be the best you can be on your job when it comes to etiquette—for your own good, but more importantly, for your testimony as a disciple of Jesus Christ. Our main reason for this ministry of The Christian Working Woman has always been to inspire Christians in the workplace to see their jobs as their mission field; to understand that there are no secular or sacred categories for a believer. Everything is sacred, and when we go to our jobs, no matter where that job takes us, we go as ambassadors for Jesus Christ. We are the living word of God in that place, and therefore we have the privilege as well as the responsibility to make certain that we represent our Lord well.