PROGRAM W-1747 – Part I
What has life taught you? I’ve known people who went through life and never ever seemed to learn life lessons. They just made the same mistakes over and over, never seeming to gain any wisdom. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” Recognizing you lack all the wisdom you need is step one; praying for wisdom is step two; then learning from your experiences, your mistakes, your journey, and from other people is step three in becoming a wise person. So, here are some life lessons I’d like to pass along to you.
Life Lesson No. 1: When you don’t know what to do, just take the next small step.
Life is full of both small and large turning points—times when you have to make a decision and you’re not sure about it. I’m not talking about black and white decisions, things that are clearly right or wrong, but other decisions like Should I look for a new job or not? Should I offer to give this person some money? Is it time to sell my house?
Prayer is, of course, our first order of business when we’re faced with decisions. It’s also helpful to consistently seek advice from trusted advisors. But I’ve often found that if I simply take the next small step and see where that leads, I can usually tell whether it is the right thing or not. Sometimes, however, I discover there really is no next small step—I would have to push, shove, and maneuver to get to that next step. This is always a red flag for me which says, “Slow down; make sure this is a good step to take.”
When I first believed God was leading me to begin this radio ministry—thirty-four years ago now—after praying about it for quite a few months, I remember thinking, “You’ve prayed about this for a long time now. Isn’t it time for you to do something?” So, I made the first small step—a phone call that opened a door and began the process of beginning The Christian Working Woman program in August of 1984. As the Chinese proverb reminds us, every long journey begins with the first step.
I think many people park-out at the starting line thinking about what they might do, wanting to do something, but because of fear or double-mindedness, they never move. James says that a double-minded person is unstable in all her ways. Double-mindedness is that state of mind where we go back and forth, back and forth. . .and never move forward!
This reminds me of one of the Tater Family members. You know the Tater family, don’t you? Dick Tater is the Father, but the one I’m thinking about is Hessie Tator. Hessie always intends to do something, but she hesitates, never taking the first step. You really don’t want to be a Hessie Tater—so don’t be afraid to take that first step and see where it leads!
Life Lesson No. 2: If you will live in today—rather than yesterday or tomorrow—you can make it!
Jesus said, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34). Most of our stress and depression comes because we live either in the past with its regrets and anger, or we live in fear of the future. God gives us the strength to cope with today, but we keep adding on the past and the future and then wonder why we can’t make it!
Yesterday is gone. You can’t change it; you can’t make it better. In Isaiah 43:18-19, the Lord said, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing!” If you continually dwell on the past, you will miss the new thing God wants to do for you. Yesterday is over; let it go.
Tomorrow never comes. Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday! Fear of the future will absolutely stop you from the good things God has for you.
In light of this, pray daily that you will live in today. Then you’ll have the strength to make it through. It’s a matter of changing your attitude and your thought patterns.
When we are worrying it’s usually because our thoughts are out of control. I’ve written a book about that called Think About What You Think About. Long ago, I began to realize that I had to learn to bring my thoughts under control. I have to consciously and intentionally monitor my thoughts and recognize when they’re going where they shouldn’t go—and then stop them! Change them! When you’re living in yesterday or tomorrow, you’re often allowing your thoughts to go where they shouldn’t go.
Life Lesson No. 3: Pay off your credit cards every month.
Financial troubles affect every area of our lives, and most people’s financial troubles begin with that plastic credit card. The credit card companies make it easier and easier for you to get a card, and then they do everything they can to encourage you to use it and pay only the minimum each month. This is a recipe for financial disaster!
You may be in financial trouble now because you’ve got so much credit card debt. What do you do? First, stop using that credit card. If you’re in credit card trouble, make yourself pay cash for what you buy, and you’ll be amazed at how much more frugal you will be. We get so used to pulling out that credit card; it seems so easy—and then the bill comes at the end of the month and our eyes pop out when we see how much we owe!
Look at where your money is going and eliminate those things you don’t absolutely have to have. Most of us have a very poor idea of just where our money goes. A good exercise is to keep track of every nickel you spend for a couple of weeks or a month. Write it down and add it up. You may be really shocked to see how much you spend on stuff you don’t have to have.
Then stop buying things you really don’t need until you have paid off those credit cards. Believe me, we all need a lot less than we think we do.
Credit cards are convenient—especially for travel—but I’ve had a rule for years that I must pay off my credit card bill every month. I simply refuse to pay any interest. That puts controls on what I spend. One of the biggest favors you can do for yourself is to wipe out your credit card debt and then pay the cards off in full every month.
Life Lesson No. 4: Save something from every paycheck.
Frankly, I have not followed this principle all my life; I wish I had. But it’s never too late, and I practice this faithfully now. The secret is to have money taken out of your paycheck or your checking account every month—before you see it. I don’t care how small it is, make yourself start the habit of saving some money out of every paycheck, and put that money in an account that you don’t touch. Just forget it’s there.
Financial experts tell us we should have six months of expenses saved up for emergencies. Now, I know it will take you awhile to get there, but you’ll never get there if you don’t start. So, make yourself begin with your next paycheck to save some money, and teach this principle to your children. Of course, giving to God is the first thing we should do with our paychecks. He should get the firstfruits of everything he has given to us, and ten percent is a good standard to use.
The Bible has more to say about money than almost any other topic. That’s because where our money is indicates where our heart is! I promise you, if you will pray about this and become serious about getting your financial house in order, you are going to be so glad you did. It will take so much stress and strain out of your life. I encourage you to do it.
Life Lesson No. 5: Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
I often remind myself that people aren’t thinking about me nearly as much as I think they’re thinking about me! Isn’t it true that we often put ourselves under unnecessary stress by just taking ourselves too seriously? We worry about what others will think of us and that can become an obsession. What others think about you is not your business, so let it go!
Here’s the secret: Make it your passion to care very much about what God thinks about you. Pray daily that God will grow you into the mature Christian he wants you to be. Let God’s Word reveal areas in your life that need changing, and then, by God’s grace, work on them. Care very much about what God thinks about you. But stop worrying about what others think about you.
Stop imagining what they’re thinking or saying. First of all, you’ll never please everyone, no matter how hard you try. And secondly, have you ever thought about how wrong it is to care more about what other people think of you than you do about what God thinks about you? Remember, it’s not all about you; it’s all about God and what he wants to do with your life. So, don’t take yourself so seriously.
Also, it’s really important to learn to laugh at yourself. I’ve discovered that when I can make a joke on myself, it relieves the tension in a situation. I remember once showing up for a speaking engagement at a church with two different shoes on. Don’t ask me how I did it—I have no idea, except they looked somewhat alike. . .but they were different colors and different shoes.
I looked down and realized it just before I was introduced to speak. My first reaction was to try to figure out how I could possibly get another pair of shoes in time to avoid looking stupid. Of course, there wasn’t time, so instead, I pointed out my mismatched shoes, made fun of myself, everybody laughed, it broke the ice, and everything was fine.
I often find myself worrying about what I’m wearing: Did I wear this to church last Sunday? Does this look okay? When I realize I’m doing this, I simply remind myself that if I can’t remember what I wore, surely no one else can! Furthermore, who cares if they do?! Just let it go!
There you have it: five life lessons which I pass on to you, hoping you’ll benefit from some of the things I’ve learned along life’s way.
There’s a book in the Bible which is chocked full of life lessons: the book of Proverbs. I have often suggested that you read a chapter a day; since there are 31 chapters, you’ll read it through every month by reading the chapter that corresponds to the day of the month. Here are just a few nuggets from Proverbs that you should pay attention to:
“One who has knowledge uses words with restraint” (Proverbs 17:27).
“Avoid anyone who talks too much” (Proverbs 20:19).
“Do not let your heart envy sinners” (Proverbs 23:17).
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords” (Proverbs 12:18).
These are just a few I picked at random from the book of Proverbs. Try reading a chapter a day. I promise you, it will give you life lessons which will benefit you greatly.