PROGRAM D-6704
Someone once told me that a couple of people who had met me months before—very briefly—had said that I was not at all friendly. For about 24 hours it bothered me immensely. What had I done? What had I said? I searched every part of my memory and could come up with nothing that I knew to be inappropriate. Yet, obviously something had caused them to think I was unfriendly.
I thought of trying to make an apology, but I didn’t know what to apologize for. I prayed and asked God to show me what I did wrong. My mind was a blank. I felt guilty for I didn’t know what!
And then, I believe God’s Spirit simply showed me that the problem was that they had allowed their perception to become reality. Based on what had to be extremely brief and inadequate input, they had formed an opinion of me. Perhaps it was a look on my face or a failure to speak to them when they thought I should, who knows.
Quite honestly, it just couldn’t have been very severe because our contact was extremely brief. Yet they had formed an opinion of me which was not favorable, and were freely passing it on to others, as though it were, in fact, the truth.
As I thought about that incident, the Lord reminded me that I’ve done the same thing to other people—passed around my perceptions as though they were truth, when in fact they were simply opinions. And in so doing, I have undoubtedly influenced others to think poorly of someone else.
I tell you, by God’s grace, I’m determined to stop this bad habit. The old saying, "If you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything at all," is a very good one to live by. Of course, it’s a biblical principle.
Ephesians 4:29 says "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
When we carelessly throw around our opinions about other people that are not favorable, that is unwholesome talk. What good does it do anyone? Does our opinion build others up; will it benefit those who listen? If not, we should not express those unnecessary and all-too-often untrue perceptions we have formed about other people.