Perception Does Not Equal Reality

 

All day long every day, we are all in the process of forming impressions of other people, and of course, other people are forming impressions of us. Those impressions may or may not be accurate, but frequently we act and react as though our perceptions about people are fact, when we haven’t stopped to think that many times they are simply wrong impressions. 

 

When you find you are forming a negative impression of someone for whatever reason, remind yourself that you could be wrong. Remember that there have been other times when you have formed the wrong impression about someone. Ask yourself, "Could it be that this is my problem, not theirs? Do I bring some prejudicial thinking into this situation? Have I jumped to conclusions? Do I have enough reliable input to form a negative impression?"

 

In many cases we blow small things out of proportion, or we simply don’t take the time to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and give that person a break.

 

The American way is that we’re all innocent until proven guilty. It’s also the biblical way. Love—God’s kind of love—doesn’t expose the weaknesses of others. Proverbs 10:12 says that love covers over all wrongs. Love assumes the best of someone, not the worst. It doesn’t gravitate toward the bad reports, but rather looks for good reports.

 

I remember placing a call to a Christian businesswoman at her office to talk with her about a possible speaking engagement. As I hung up the phone my perception of her was not favorable. She sounded abrupt to me, she sounded rushed, and I was starting to form a negative impression.

 

In the middle of that thought process, I said to myself, "Mary, give this woman a break. She was at work; she wasn’t expecting your call. Who knows what was on her desk to be done, what crisis she was facing at that moment. She was not rude to you; she simply wasn’t as friendly as you would have liked." So, I simply dismissed my first impression of her and told myself that I did not have nearly enough input to form a negative impression.

 

When we talked a couple of weeks later, she was extremely helpful and went out of her way to try to assist me, and I found her to be delightful. My first perception was not reality, and had I allowed that perception to take root in my mind, I might never have talked with her again, or would have gone into that conversation with such a negative mindset that nothing she could have done would have made me change my impression.

 

I imagine you’ve had similar experiences. We need to keep reminding ourselves that our perceptions may not be reality.