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PROGRAM D-8428
Are you living under the cloud of an overly active conscience? With her permission, I want to quote what my friend Beverley wrote to me about the guilt she has carried, which kept her in bondage for several years. Her overly active conscience became her cruel taskmaster. She wrote the following:
I guess it is so hard to write my thoughts about guilt because it is difficult for me to believe that God is so gracious as to forgive such grievous sins as I have committed. Instead, I hold onto my guilt like a badge of courage, or like a weight that somehow, if I carry it long enough, I will be sufficiently punished for my sins, and feel worthy for God to look upon me again. I forget that I am only worthy in God’s eyes because He sees me through Christ. Even at my best I would still be unworthy to walk into the presence of the holy of holiest God.
Satan loves guilt. When he is victorious using guilt, he convinces us that God could never love us again. Maybe He did once, but never again. Why would He; why would He ever trust us and take another chance? Physical, emotional, and spiritual depravation are a result of Satan’s attempts to pull this dark veil of guilt over our hearts.
You can hear in her words the pain of a conscience that never gives you a break. I believe our consciences can be used by Satan, as Beverley points out, to convince us that we haven’t done enough. We haven’t suffered enough. We deserve to feel guilty.
That’s what an overly active conscience will do to you—make you think that you deserve to be punished in order to be worthy. Forgiveness is not enough. Your conscience tells you that you deserve punishment, and so if God is not going to punish you, you punish yourself, distortedly thinking that God will be pleased to see your self-inflicted punishment.
This is not a healthy, joyful way to live, is it? I want to assure you that there is a pathway out of this kind of guilt-ridden living. We need healthy consciences that operate under the power of God’s Spirit within us and set us free from an overly active conscience.