W-1618

Part II

We looked at four Scriptures that tell us that God wants to give us our hearts’ desires and do good things for us. But in each case we talked about the preconditions that he gives us—that we delight ourselves in him, that we seek him with our whole heart, that we live blameless lives free of known sin, and that we pray unceasingly and bring these desires before him continually.

But what about those times when we have met the preconditions and yet our desires still go unfulfilled? Let me assure you that I don’t have pat answers. There are questions for which we simply have no complete answers on this side of Heaven.

I can think of a friend who has lived with an unfulfilled desire for 30 years. Her faith has never wavered that her son would accept Christ, and she is a godly woman. But it seems her son gets worse instead of better. Why? I shake my head along with you and ask those questions.

There are times when we simply admit our lack of understanding while we reaffirm our belief that our God does all things well. When I face these kinds of questions, where I just don’t understand why God is doing what he’s doing, I remind myself that God doesn’t think like I do. His thoughts are above my thoughts and his ways are above my ways. But I’m so glad that’s true. If I could understand God completely, he wouldn’t be very big, would he?

I remember hearing Elizabeth Elliot say if God were small enough that we could understand him, he wouldn’t be large enough to worship. Many of God’s ways are beyond our knowing, and I think all of us will live with some unanswered questions until we get to heaven.

So there are times when we simply trust without understanding. And that is frequently true when we’re living with unfulfilled desires that we know are godly desires, and we believe we’ve met God’s preconditions to answer our prayers. There comes a point when we simply trust without understanding.

However, I’d like to point out a few things that may be helpful in considering why those desires remain unfulfilled.

  1. Sometimes the desire takes top priority in our lives.

If you’re living with an unfulfilled desire, has that desire become more important to you than the Lord? Maybe you’ve begun to think that the fulfilled desire will be the answer to all your problems, and you’re looking to the fulfillment to meet your needs.

We may think “If I just had a husband or wife…” or “If my mate were just a Christian…” or “If my son/daughter would just get right with the Lord…” or “If I just had a better job or more money…”

It’s so easy for us to be consumed by our desires and think that if they were fulfilled, everything would be okay. We think, “I’d never fuss at my husband again if he’d just accept Christ,” “I’d never complain about anything if I could just get married,” “If my daughter would live for the Lord, everything else would be wonderful,” or “If I just made more money and could buy a few things I need, I promise I’d never ask for anything else!”

We think that way; I know I did for ten years. If I could just find the right man, nothing else would matter. That was how I thought. But I was dead wrong. You see, God may be withholding your unfulfilled desire because he knows that you have not yet learned that he alone can meet your need. And in great mercy to you, he wants to teach you that lesson. You know, if your desires were fulfilled, you’d probably be sorely disappointed to discover how unfulfilling they are in themselves.

Oh, I praise God for not fulfilling my desire in those ten years. In his infinite love, he spared me from my own poor choices. But at the time I thought marriage would make me happy for the rest of my life. I had so much to learn. Certainly marriage can be a wonderful gift, but if you desire it above the Lord, you have made an idol of it.

Have you learned that even good desires cannot meet your needs completely? Only Jesus can do that. When you begin to learn that truth, it sets you free—free from desperateness and frustration.

I think of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego who certainly did not desire to be thrown into the fiery furnace. They told Nebuchadnezzar that they were certain their God would deliver them, but even if he didn’t, they would continue to serve him and not bow down to false gods.

Have you said to God yet, “Even if you don’t”? I believe that often you have to come to the place where the desire is less important to you than the Lord. I don’t know of any person used of God who has not at some time come to a point in life where he or she had to relinquish the deepest desires of their lives to the Lord.

Sometimes God goes on to fulfill those desires later, as he has done for me after 35 years, and sometimes he doesn’t. But if your desire has become more important to you than anything else, you will need to say to God, “Even if you don’t,” before you’ll know any peace.

2.  God may want to change your desire and then fulfill it.

Think about this: God says he’ll give us the desires of our hearts, but that may mean that he changes those desires first. When you think about it, what difference does it make? If your desires are changed and then fulfilled, you’re a fulfilled person. But many times we cling to those desires and insist that we have to have just this desire, no other.

I know from experience that single women tend to do that—no doubt some single men do, as well. You grapple with your natural and normal desire to be married and have a family, and when that doesn’t happen as quickly as you think it should, you start to panic. And you go to God with this unfulfilled desire: “God, please I want to be married and have a family. Please. Please.” And you can’t believe you could ever be happy without that specific desire fulfilled.

I remember talking with a young woman at a singles’ retreat where I spoke. She was very honest and said, “I just can’t imagine ever not wanting to be married. I can’t believe that that desire could ever change.” I asked her if she was willing to allow God to change it, if he could? She said yes, but she really didn’t see how she could ever feel differently. You know that feeling. You’ve been there. But you see, all we have to do is provide the will; God does the changing.

You would never have convinced me years ago that I could be happy being single. Never! But I can testify that God can change those deep desires, and when he does it, not only is it okay, it’s a marvelous contented life. It’s not trouble free and it’s not perfect—but it’s certainly not second best; it is full and exciting. How thankful I am I learned that before God gave me this desire of my heart.

What difference does it make if God changes your desires? You’ll still be fulfilled. Have you been hanging onto that desire, unwilling to let God change it? Maybe that’s the problem.

3.  Sometimes our desires go unfulfilled because we’re in God’s waiting room.

How many of you have ever been in God’s waiting room? I don’t know any really vital Christian who hasn’t been there. Why? Why does God put us in the waiting room?

  • First, because he gets our attention that way. Sometimes we’re pretty thick, and in the waiting room, we tend to stop and listen and look up.
  • Second, you’ll learn things in the waiting room you’ll never learn any other way. You’ll learn to walk by faith, not by sight, and that’s the most important thing for us to learn. Because without faith, it’s impossible to please God.
  • Third, what looks like forever to you is nothing at all to God. He doesn’t work by a clock; calendars have no meaning to him. He sees with eternal eyes and knows what’s good for you in the long-term. He has your long-term best interest at heart, and sometimes waiting is the best thing he can do for you. He’s preparing you for eternity, and if it takes a few weeks or months or years or decades to accomplish something in your life, that is a perfectly good economy of time for God—because he deals with eternity, not with time.

Isaiah 40:31 says, “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.”

Maybe you’ve been trying to run from the waiting room and God wants you to learn to wait so that you can have renewed strength. If you’re exhausted, sit in God’s waiting room, and eventually you’ll be able to soar like eagles, or run, or walk without getting weary or fainting.

4.  Sometimes our desires are unfulfilled because other people refuse to obey God.

God has given man a free will, and God will not override that free will. We have to face the fact that though God desires that all should come to him, that husband or child has a will of their own, and they make their choice for or against God. Because of that, many people have desires that are never fulfilled.

5.  Sometimes our desires are unfulfilled because we’re living with the consequences of past sin.

You know, God does not condemn us for our past sins that have been confessed and forgiven. We are no longer under condemnation and we do not have to pay the eternal consequences of that sin. But we may have to live with the effects of some of that past sin.

But let me tell you what God can do—he turns ashes into beauty! No matter what kind of mess you’ve made in your life, he can take that mess and turn it into something beautiful, something good.

So, wherever you are and whatever unfulfilled desires you are living with, I trust these thoughts have been helpful to you.