W-1617

Part I

Who of us could not make a list of things in our lives that we would change if we could? Or a list of things we would have which we do not have? We all have to live with some unfulfilled desires.

For instance, some of you are single and you have a deep desire to be married. Some of you are married and your deepest desire is that your mate would become a Christian. Some of you are childless and you long to have children of your own. I hear from many of you concerning your children, when they are rebelling or refusing to walk with God. And I know from ministering to women for over 30 years that you have serious unfulfilled desires.

And even if our unfulfilled desires are not that major, they nonetheless are important to us. Perhaps you really want to change jobs very much. Or maybe you desire a nicer home or additional income.

I’m sure you can easily think of the things you would include on your list of unfulfilled desires. And as we think about these unfulfilled desires in our lives, we know that in many cases these desires are good ones—legitimate ones, honorable ones.

Well, what does the Bible have to say about these unfulfilled desires that we’re living with? Let’s look at a few Scripture verses that talk about the desires we have, and what God wants to do for us:

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 34:10: …Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Psalm 84:11: …No good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

Matt. 7:11: If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Now, I want to assure you that I did not misquote any of those verses, nor did I take them out of context. As a matter of fact, those are only a sample of the many Scriptures which tell us that God wants to gives us our hearts’ desires—to do good things for us.

It would seem that reality is in conflict with these verses. You and I admit that we’re living with unfulfilled desires. And in many cases we know the desires are legitimate, reasonable, good, and right. How do we reconcile that with the verses we read?

When we find our experience at variance with what we read in the Bible, we need to reexamine the Scripture and also reexamine our true confidence and trust in the Bible. If your faith in God’s Word has any weak spots, you’ll find yourself frequently frustrated. In this world of unrest and uncertainty, in this age of shifting values and humanistic thinking, God’s Word has to be our rock, our refuge. Without that firm foundation, everything falls apart.

So I would strongly reaffirm to you that you can trust God’s Word, even when it seems to conflict with experience. It will withstand any seeming contradiction. It has stood through the ages, and it will endure forever.

The truth of Scripture is not contingent on our experience. We must be careful never to judge Scripture by our circumstances. Rather, we judge our experiences by the Word of God.

Many people think that the Bible is true, but they don’t think you can really apply it to today’s problems. They feel it is perhaps a bit outdated, and therefore not relevant to us today.

Could that be true? No, Romans 15:4 says everything that was written in the past was written to teach us so that through endurance and the encouragement of Scriptures we might have hope. The words in the Bible are written just as much for us today as they were for anyone else in the whole history of the world.

Well, what’s the answer? Why do we have these unfulfilled desires when the Bible says God will fulfill our desires? Why does our experience seem to be at odds with the Bible?

Let’s take another look at those Scriptures. Notice that in each case there are some preconditions that precede the promises. Let me point them out to you again.

First, in Psalm 37:4 the precondition is delight yourself in the Lord.

What does that mean? How do you delight in someone? Doesn’t delighting in someone usually mean that you’re satisfied with them, you gain great joy from them, and you’re happy to be with them? Delighting in someone means we’re very comfortable to be with them and we seek their company.

Now, as you think about that precondition, can you honestly say that you delight in the Lord? Can you say with the Psalmist, “You light my lamp.” Does he light up your life?

Here are some checkpoints to see how much you delight in the Lord:

  • When you have free moments to think, where do your thoughts drift to? How frequently do they automatically go to the Lord?
  • How often do you just meditate on his goodness to you? Do you ever just sit and think and marvel at what he’s done for us?
  • How much of your prayer time is spent in praising him for who he is?
  • Do you really love to get into the Word? Is it truly the bread of life for you?

Now, I’m not trying to lay guilt trips on anybody, and I’m certainly not trying to be legalistic. But I just think if we delight in someone, it has to display itself in some of these behaviors. And I ask myself these questions along with you: Do I really consistently delight myself in the Lord?

Maybe you’re living with unfulfilled desires because you really haven’t met this precondition; you don’t really delight yourself in the Lord.

The precondition in Psalm 34:10 is that we seek the Lord. Jesus said, “They that hunger and thirst for righteousness will be satisfied.” That just means you desire above everything else to be more and more like Jesus, who is our righteousness. Does that describe you? If you peeled off all the layers and looked at the core of your being, would you find a deep-seated hunger to please the Lord?

How much do you actually seek the Lord—go after him, search to know him, strive to find him? God said we will find him when we search for him with our whole hearts. I love seeking hearts—hearts that continually say, “Teach me, show me, help me.” Maybe you’re living with unfulfilled desires because you’re not really seeking the Lord.

The precondition in Psalm 84:11 is that we must have a blameless walk. This doesn’t mean we have to be perfect; none of us are. But it means we’re walking in the light we have and daily examining and confessing where we’ve failed, and doing what we have to do to change.

Have you been refusing to deal with something in your life that God has shown you needs to be dealt with? Are you hanging onto some sinful lifestyle that you know has to go? Allowing known sin to continue to exist will stop God’s blessings in your life dead cold. Check it out; maybe that’s why you’re living with unfulfilled desires.

In Matthew 7:11, the precondition Jesus gave was that we must ask. How much have you prayed about your unfulfilled desire? Jesus taught us to pray without giving up, even to the point when we feel like we’re being a pest.

Remember the parable of the woman who pestered the judge until he granted her desire—and the parable of the neighbor who kept knocking at his friend’s door and asking for bread? They teach us to pray without giving up. Have you earnestly, consistently, wholeheartedly prayed and not given up? Maybe you haven’t met this pre-condition, and that’s why your desires are unfulfilled.

Well, many of us would have to stop here and admit that the cause of our unfulfilled desires may lie in our not meeting the preconditions. I hope you will search your heart as you think about your unfulfilled desires and see if you’ve met the preconditions to claim God’s promises.

Let me add a personal note here. For ten long years I fought God’s will for my life because of an unfulfilled desire, a common one: I was single, but I wanted to be married. When finally I relinquished control to my Savior and accepted where I was, he took over in my life, and what seemed so unfulfilling to me—being single—became a very satisfying and contented life, one with purpose and meaning. I learned the joy of giving the controls to Jesus, trusting his plan for my life to be a good one, and it was. For many years I lived as a single woman, enjoying the good works God had planned for me to do.

Now, at this stage in my life, God has fulfilled that desire and given me a wonderful husband. But I have to tell you that I am so thankful that I learned to live with an unfulfilled desire, to be contented, to enjoy the good things God had for me, and to live without that feeling that something was missing. I want to encourage you—whatever unfulfilled desire you are struggling with—to believe that God has good plans for you, and even if that desire is never fulfilled you can know real peace and great satisfaction as you focus your life on fulfilling God’s plans for you instead of asking God to make your dreams come true. God has different plans for each of us—you never know what’s around the corner—but if you will learn to be content where you are instead of focusing on what’s missing, then you simply can’t lose.