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For a long time I used to say that I was living in God’s Plan B for my life, and that even though it was Plan B, it was still a good plan. I really thought that because I messed up my life so much, God had to come up with a different plan for my life and let me settle for something less than he had planned for me. It’s as though I thought that God looked down at my mess and said, “Goodness, what am I going to do now? How did Mary get herself in such a mess? Guess I’ll have to come up with Plan B.”
That’s because I really messed up. Whatever “baggage” I have brought into my life has been bags I’ve packed myself. I have no one to blame but me. I made poor choices, wrong decisions, and chose sinful paths for about ten years of my young adult life.
Briefly, when my daughter was eight years old, I found myself going through a divorce. This was the last thing that I ever thought would happen to me; it was the last thing my family or friends ever imagined would happen. After all, I was raised in a good Christian home, graduated from a Christian college, and was the music director at my church! But, there it was—I was divorced and I had to earn a living and my entire life dramatically changed.
I was so insecure about my value as a woman and so desperately needed to feel loved and valued, that as the old song goes, I looked for love in all the wrong places. And for ten long years, I covered up, pretended I was totally in control, climbed the corporate career ladder, earned more money, got promotions, bought more stuff—and all the time the little girl in me was crying for someone to say, “You are precious to me.” Sure, I had friends and a wonderful family and I should have been content with the love they had for me, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to know that I was valued as a woman!
It took a move to Chicago, a dreadful career decision, and many broken relationships, but finally in God’s grace, like the prodigal son, I came to my senses and returned to my Father, asked for forgiveness, received it completely, and started on a new path. That was about 36 years ago. And that new path has been full of his blessing and the great privilege of having this ministry. Let me assure you that I do not have it all together, but I can tell you that I know I am loved and precious to God, and that has satisfied my heart like nothing else ever could or did.
So that’s why I used to say I messed up Plan A but God gave me Plan B and it was good, but it wasn’t Plan A. It was second best—Plan B. Then not long ago I began to take a second look at my theology and realized that if I truly believed in the sovereignty of God, then I had to believe that God doesn’t have any Plan Bs. It’s all Plan A with God. You see, believing that God is sovereign means you believe he is always, at all times, in control of every situation! Nothing ever takes him by surprise. Before the world ever began, my days were written in his book.
Psalm 139:16b: All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
And recently I was reading Jeremiah where the Lord said to Jeremiah: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” (Jeremiah 1:5a).
The Bible makes it clear that God is in ultimate control of us as individuals and of the world as well, from the international scene to a sparrow that falls.
“I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please’” (Isaiah 46:10).
All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: “What have you done?” (Daniel 4:35)
Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him (Psalm 115:3).
Now, if you want me to explain God’s sovereignty to you, I have to admit that I simply cannot—and furthermore, I’m not sure anyone can totally understand or explain it. I have questions that I can’t answer. I know it wasn’t God’s will for me to mess up like I did; I know it is not God’s will that some of you have suffered terribly because of evil people and what they have done. God does not condone sin in any form; it is never from God. So how does that all fit together with the truth that God is sovereign in the world and he is sovereign in my life? I don’t know, but if God were small enough that I could explain and understand him totally in my very limited, finite mind, he wouldn’t be much of a god.
But what he does, in ways I cannot explain, is to take the shambles of our lives, the sins done by us and to us, the wrong paths we’ve chosen and the foolish decisions we’ve made—he takes all that and weaves it into something beautiful and good that can be used for his glory. Romans 8:28 is true:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Of course, the qualifier there is “for those who love him and are called according to his purpose.” If you’ve been born from above through faith in Jesus Christ, and you’ve been given new life in Christ, then you qualify for this promise, that in all things God works for your good.
Many of us grew up with a Cinderella delusion—the “happily-ever-after” belief that somehow our dreams really will come true and we would live happily-ever-after. Translate this to a Christian worldview, and we conclude that God will make our lives good and easy and give us our dreams because he’s God, and he loves us, and he’ll give us what we want. Isn’t that what believing in God is all about? He’s there to make our dreams come true?
There are people with broken dreams and shattered hopes. Some of you are:
:: Single never-married. Is that what you dreamed of as you were growing up?
:: Others are married with no children. Did you ever imagine that you would be childless?
:: Some are no doubt in an abusive marriage. Was that your fantasy marriage?
:: Some are divorced because your mate walked off and left you—or perhaps you were forced to leave your mate. Was that a dream come true?
:: There are those who are dealing with health issues that plague you constantly. Did you ever see yourself as invalid in any way?
:: Some are facing what looks like financial disaster. Is that how you dreamed your life would be—full of financial woes and worries?
:: Perhaps you are a single parent, raising children by yourself. Was that on your hope list as you grew up?
:: Some of you have children or grandchildren who have walked away from God and are living a sinful lifestyle. Is that what you dreamed of when you held that precious baby in your arms?
Whether it’s life-long dreams or something less important, who of us hasn’t expected God to fulfill our desires, to make our dreams come true, and then when it doesn’t happen, we get angry or bitter, we complain and become depressed, we lose faith, and some of us just give up and walk away—because life hasn’t turned out according to our plans. Or what often happens, we just live with our broken dreams, figuring there’s nothing more that can be done, and trying to make the best of our lives, but living in regret and mediocrity.
Dreams have been dashed, our idealism has been crushed, and our Cinderella delusion has bitten the dust. Can this really be Plan A?
Do you want God’s plan or your dream?
In order to believe that all things work for your good because you are called according to his purpose, the first issue you have to face is: Do you want God’s plan or your dream?
I remember counseling a young single woman who desperately wanted to be a young married woman. She was just miserable being single. Not a day or hardly an hour went by that she didn’t focus on how much she wanted to be married and how much she hated being single. I said to her, “Are you willing to put your life into God’s hands and tell him that you want his plan for your life, regardless of what that plan is?” She said, “I know I can never be happy being single; there’s just no way I can be happy with that if that is what God has planned for me.”
I told her I understood how she felt—I’ve been there—but I asked her if she was willing to give God permission to change her desires and make her willing to do his will? She said she couldn’t believe that her desires could ever change. I said, “You don’t have to believe that God can change you; you just have to give him permission to do it if he can.”
Your trust in God and his sovereignty in your life may indeed be very weak. That could be because you haven’t learned to trust him, you haven’t gotten to know him as well as you need to. We trust those we know well. But you have to start somewhere—and maybe today could be your starting place. If all you can do is give God permission to change you so that you will want to do his will, then start there.
Do you remember when Jesus encountered a man whose son had a demon and none of the disciples could help him? He approached Jesus and said, “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” Jesus said to him “’If you can’?’ Everything is possible for him who believes.” And the father’s response was, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief” (Mark 9).
He started where he was. He was desperate and he kinda sorta believed Jesus could heal his son. He had heard about all the great things Jesus had done, and so he came to Jesus with his very tepid, fearful belief—but he came anyway. He admitted his weak faith, and asked Jesus to help him have more faith in Jesus.
That’s a strange request, don’t you think? “I believe in you, Jesus, but please help me overcome my unbelief.” You may be right there today. You believe but you know there’s some unbelief in your heart, too. You just haven’t yet been willing to say, “Not my will but yours be done” and you don’t know how to get there.
Ask Jesus to help you overcome your unbelief. And then by faith let go of your dream and ask God for his plan. Without faith it’s impossible to please God. Your first step will be a step of faith—you simply choose to let go of your dream and accept God’s plan.