How’s Your Book Cover?

PROGRAM W-1786 – Part II

It’s possible to have very good content in your personal book, but to be terribly handicapped by a careless cover. I’ve explored in detail the three things that make up your book cover: Your verbal skills—the words you actually say; your vocal skills—the tone of your voice; and your non-verbal skills—everything from how you dress, to facial expressions, to body language, and much more.

Let me repeat this verse which I’ve already quoted: “For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of man” (2 Corinthians 8:21). As Christians it is our duty to make whatever effort we can to make a good impression and to eliminate any unnecessary habits or annoyances that detract and cause negative impressions. Here are some very practical suggestions on things you can do to improve your first impressions.

Let me state a couple of things before we get into the specifics. I want to make it clear that our motivation is not to promote ourselves or to make us more successful, but rather to be good stewards of the resources and opportunities that God brings our way for the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. What I’ve discovered is that when I am focused on pleasing Jesus, I tend to please more people than I would otherwise. We must be very careful to not get our motivations misplaced in this matter.

The second thing I would point out is that you’ll never be able to please everybody. No matter how good your book cover is, someone won’t like it. I certainly am not encouraging you to try to be a people pleaser or live your life worrying about what others may think of you. That is not healthy or biblical. We simply want to do the best we can with what we have because that’s the Bible’s standard—excellence. We should never be satisfied with mediocrity in ourselves.

With that said, here are those suggestions I promised you for improving your book cover.

Anytime you receive a criticism, make up your mind to give it consideration.

Nobody likes to be criticized and, if you’re like me, your first reaction to criticism is defensiveness and self-pity. So when you receive a criticism, keep your mouth shut until you get through that initial react-stage. Then make yourself consider the criticism. Ask yourself, “Is there any validity in this criticism?” Even if it was given in a nonconstructive way, it offers you an opportunity for perception feedback.

I remember years ago receiving a letter from a listener who told me that she didn’t listen to me anymore because my voice had gotten harsh and she didn’t like my preachy tone. Believe me, I didn’t enjoy reading that letter; however, I thought to myself, “Is she telling you something you need to hear?” After all, if you’re in the radio business, you better be very concerned about the impression your voice makes. So, I decided to check it out and, in listening to some recent recordings, I heard a harshness in the tone which wasn’t usually there—probably due to tiredness. Regardless, it was something I needed to correct. Even that unsolicited and unkind criticism worked for my good.

Solicit feedback.

Here are some examples: Ask someone to critique your telephone skills. Make an appointment with your boss and ask her or him what areas you need to improve, recognizing he or she can probably see things you can’t. Go to a hair stylist and ask for help in finding the most suitable style for your face and hair. Ask a friend with good fashion sense to help you choose the right clothes.

When you solicit feedback, it usually comes much more gently and it’s much easier to swallow than feedback which is unsolicited. Make a decision today to find out how you are perceived by others. Don’t let fear of what you might find out keep you from doing that.

Here at the Christian Working Woman, we always include an evaluation form at all of our events so we can determine how to improve and learn things that we might not otherwise notice. I’m prone to think, “I don’t want to see them; there might be something negative that would hurt my feelings.”

Well, that may be true, but I want to produce the best event we possibly can and, without some feedback from others, we could keep making the same mistakes over and over and not even know it. So in reading the evaluations, I find some positive reinforcement, some nice words, and some very good suggestions for improvement. Yes, it makes you vulnerable when you solicit feedback, but otherwise you could stay mired in mediocrity, and I’m not willing to settle for that. Are you?

Record or make a video of yourself in situations—where you can—to find out how you come across to others.

You’ll learn a lot about your telephone image if you’ll record and listen to some of your telephone conversations. Video is great for feedback on presentation skills, posture, facial expressions, etc. It’s so easy to do that now with our smart phones. Utilize that technology to help you get a better idea of how others perceive you.

Make a list of some specific areas where you need to improve.

For example, you might have on your list “smile more” or “better posture.” You might have “think before you talk” or “put a friendlier tone in your voice.” Perhaps your list would have “better hairstyle” or “neater dress habits.” It will be very helpful if you’ll actually make a written record of specific areas—large and small—where you want to improve your book cover. (By the way, most of them fall into the small category, but they matter greatly.)

After making your list, prioritize it. Decide which items will make the greatest improvement or which need the most work, and number them by the priority you think they should have. Now, take that list and pray about it each day. Let me encourage you to do that. I’ve been praying for years about areas in my life where I know my book cover is in need of improvement. While there’s still a lot left to be done, I can honestly see progress in these areas. In fact, if you can find a verse in the Bible that relates to those things on your list, write the verse there and pray that verse into your life.

For example, James tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19). That’s a good verse to help improve our verbal skills. Proverbs tells us that a cheerful look brings joy to the heart (Proverbs 15:13). That’s a good one to help improve our facial expressions. If you’ll tie scripture in with your prayers, I believe you’ll discover that it is powerful praying.

Then specifically work on your list, beginning with the highest priority. Work on one or two at a time and, I promise you, you will see some wonderful improvement in your book cover.

Now you have four practical things you can do, beginning today, to really make a difference in how you are perceived by others. It’s also helpful to make a careful assessment of your own environment and be sure you are sensitive to the uniqueness of your own situation.

For example, for most of my career I’ve been a woman in a man’s world. I didn’t plan it that way, but I was one of the first female sales reps for IBM, and then went into management spots where most of my peers were male. In ministry, I’ve also often been a woman in a man’s world. For example, in Christian radio, there are many more men involved than women.

One of the things I’ve had to learn is to be aware of what I do, how I dress, what I say, and the impression I create as a woman in a man’s world. Believe me, I haven’t done it right all the time. But I try to be sensitive to dressing appropriately, approaching situations in such a way that I don’t put others on the defensive, being assertive without being aggressive, learning when to keep quiet, and a myriad of other little things that make a difference when you’re a woman in a man’s world.

Understand that I’m not talking about being intimidated because I’m a woman in a man’s world, but why would I want to shoot myself in the foot and make my own life more difficult? If I’m smart, I want to do everything I can to create a good impression and not do things that would put obstacles in my way. There are enough obstacles without creating more through carelessness or lack of understanding of the dynamics of a situation.

I want to strongly encourage you to get serious about taking a close look at your own book cover. Let me repeat what I said earlier: We don’t do this because we live our lives trying to please people, but because, as Paul wrote, we are doing whatever we can to do things right in the eyes of men as well as in the eyes of the Lord.

I’ve created a Plan for Improving Your Book Cover which might help you get a handle on how you are perceived by others. You’ll find it now on our website, along with a copy of last week and this week’s devotional on “How’s Your Book Cover?” It’s just a form, but I think it could help you make that list, prioritize it, and set goals for improvement. If you prefer, we can mail that to you if you contact us with your name and address.