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PROGRAM D-8494
All of us know that nagging and complaining don’t accomplish anything good, and yet when we feel put-upon or treated unfairly, we often resort to the nagging attack, don’t we? Fran is having dinner with Elinor, a friend who has gone back to teaching this year, but is angry because the family is not helping her with the household chores. Fran has suggested she assign responsibilities to each family member and post them on the kitchen wall.
“But what if Rick doesn’t agree?” Elinor asks.
“Then, in private with him, I’d explain that you’re not going to be able to continue teaching and doing everything else the way you always did,” Fran says. “If Rick seems unwilling to pick up any of the responsibility, you should then talk with him about whether or not you continue teaching.”
“But I like teaching, Fran,” Elinor replies. “I don’t want to quit and it works in so well with the kid’s schedules. I’m home when they are.”
“Then,” Fran says, “you will have to decide if you’re willing to live with some things undone. Maybe you’re asking too much of yourself, Elinor.”
“You’re probably right, Fran. But it just seems to me if everyone would do a little bit, it wouldn’t be hard on anybody and we could get it all done. But Rick just thinks I’m nagging him,” Elinor explains.
“Well, Elinor, sometimes we tend to do that, don’t we,” Fran says. “I remember having to learn that I got nowhere with Jim when I griped, but when I made some logical suggestions, he usually listened and cooperated. Not always, but usually,” Fran recalls her married years.
“You know, Elinor, I have developed this theory: Dust on the furniture protects the polish,” and together she and Elinor laugh.
“You mean that I should back off a bit, huh Fran?” Elinor asks.
“Maybe. You know, keeping a perfect house isn’t the most important thing in the world. Relationships are more important. The world keeps revolving even if the laundry doesn’t get done tonight,” Fran says.
“But don’t you think the family should help me, Fran?” Elinor asks.
“Absolutely, no question about it. I encourage you to have that talk with the family and divide up the jobs. See if it makes a difference,” Fran says.
After a couple of hours talking and lingering over their meal, they part with a hug and a promise to pray for each other.
