Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 3:00 — )
PROGRAM D-8162
How many times have you said something like, “She did the right thing but in the wrong way” or, “It wasn’t what he said, but the way he said it.” It’s very possible to do the right thing in the wrong way and, when that happens, we do more harm than good.
We saw from Daniel 1 that Daniel made a decision to do what was right—not to eat the king’s food. Now, he had to tell his superior, Ashpenaz, about his decision. Keep in mind that by refusing to eat that food, Daniel could put Ashpenaz in a very dangerous situation with Nebuchadnezzar, the king.
Verse 8 tells us that Daniel asked for permission not to defile himself in this way. Daniel didn’t go to this official and say, “Now, look. I’m Jewish and it’s against my religion to eat this food here. You people are pagans; you don’t worship the true God, and I refuse to eat your defiled food.” No, instead he asked for permission.
Proverbs 16:21 tells us that sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. Daniel used words carefully and made it easy for his supervisor to handle what he had to say. He asked for permission rather than issuing an ultimatum. When we issue ultimatums to people, we invite problems. There are few times when ultimatums are appropriate.
Stuart Briscoe tells of when he was working in a bank in England and was told by his supervisor to change some figures and lie about a certain situation. Stuart replied to him, “I can certainly do that for you, but if I’m willing to lie for you, how can you be sure that I won’t lie to you?” Those were some wisely chosen words which persuaded his supervisor that he should not ask him to lie. Notice that they were given in such a way that the supervisor was not offended or angered. Sweetness of speech increased his persuasiveness.
There are surely times when all of us are faced with situations where we must choose between doing what is right and what is wrong. There’s no question what our choice should be, but as you make those decisions, ask God for the wisdom to do the right thing in the right way, to choose your words carefully, to try as best you can not to offend, to avoid putting others in difficult predicaments if possible, and to refuse to use the ultimatum approach which usually creates a no-win environment.