Part II
Someone has said that relationships are the sandpaper of our lives. Well, if some of your relationships are with people who are foolish, for sure they can rub you the wrong way and cause some grief and aggravation. We find foolish people where we work, where we worship, and even in our homes! And they can have a very strong negative effect upon us, if we don’t know how to respond to them.
I gave you a long list of attributes and characteristics of foolish behavior, all straight from God’s Word. Let me re-state some of the more prominent traits of a foolish person.
•Foolish people deny, disregard and/or rebel against God.
•Their mouths often get them into trouble.
•They are prone to slander and lie and deceive.
•Foolish people are quick-tempered and get angry easily.
•They act impetuously and without regard for consequences.
•They talk endlessly, brag often and spout off frequently.
•Foolish people refuse advice, accountability or discipline.
•They handle money recklessly.
•They quarrel frequently and pick fights.
•They are often lazy, without focus or ambition.
•And they never learn from past experience.
Not a pretty picture, is it? But remember that not every foolish person has all these traits. In fact, they might just have one, but it is so prominent that you can’t ignore it. Any of us can be guilty of any of these foolish characteristics, so we must always examine our own lives before we start trying to deal with the foolish people in our lives.
Let’s now see what the Bible says about:
The Consequences and Effects of Foolish Behavior
He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise (Proverbs 11:29).
Foolish people bring much trouble on themselves and on their families. They end up being on the bottom, not on the top.
It is safer to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than to confront a fool caught in folly (Proverbs 17:12).
A bear robbed of her cubs is a dangerous animal! And dealing with a foolish person can be dangerous. Their actions are unpredictable and can be abusive. It can be especially dangerous to confront a fool and try to correct them in any way.
It is painful to be the parent of a fool; there is no joy for the father of a rebel (Proverbs 17:21).
A wise son brings joy to his father,but a foolish son grief to his mother (Proverbs 10:1).
Parents of a foolish son or daughter are in for
heartache. One of the most difficult things is to acknowledge your foolish son or daughter and recognize the behavior for what it is. In addition, it is difficult to keep from trying to solve all their problems for them. But no matter what you do, you can’t straighten them out.
Like an archer who wounds at random is he who hires a fool or any passer-by (Proverbs 26:10).
Hiring or working with a foolish person is inviting all kinds of conflict and harm in the workplace. Foolish workers will inflict harm in an organization. You can’t control them.
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down (Proverbs 14:1).
A foolish woman will bring ruin on her home. She will break up her home and her family relationships. She will be a poor mother and wife.
Well, you could be discouraged if you stopped here, but we do find much help from God’s Word on how we are to respond to foolish people. Believe me, if you don’t know how to respond to them, they can ruin a lot of days for you and cause you to say and do things that you know are wrong. So we need to be prepared in advance so that when we encounter foolish behavior, we respond appropriately. Let’s see what the Bible says about:
How are we to respond to foolish behavior?
1. Pray for them. God is able to change anybody. Don’t ever give up. Prayer is your responsibility. You can’t change them but you can pray for God to change them.
2. Watch your attitude and motivation toward these foolish people. It’s easy to become judgmental and arrogant toward them. Remember, God loves them as much as he loves you. He doesn’t approve of their behavior, but he loves them and longs to bring them to himself.
3. Be prepared to set boundaries and protect yourself from being harmed by foolish people. It is your responsibility not to allow them to take advantage of you, condemn you, use you, deceive you, etc. They are not looking out for you; they are looking out for themselves and in general, they are always coming from a self-centered focus.
If you fail to recognize their behavior, you can waste enormous time, energy and emotions on these relationships. Each relationship is unique and we can’t apply blanket responses, so keep in mind we are looking at general principles. But based on the following principles from scripture, you should carefully consider how God wants you to respond to the foolish people in your life.
Principle #1 – Don’t try to change them with advice.
Proverbs 23:9 Don’t waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice.
You may present the most logical, clear, helpful presentation of the right thing they should do, but they will not have ears to hear. If you keep trying to offer your advice, to persuade them with words, you will be continually frustrated.
Principle #2 – Don’t give them honor or luxury.
Proverbs 19:10 It is not fitting for a fool to live in luxury—how much worse for a slave to rule over princes!
Proverbs 26:1 Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, honor is not fitting for a fool.
Proverbs 26:8 Like tying a stone in a sling is the giving of honor to a fool.
Foolish people are easily spoiled and generally have no regard for taking care of possessions. They can ruin a car, a home, clothes with no shame or concern. Giving them things will not solve their problems,though they want to get anything they can. They will ask for and expect gifts.
To give them undeserved honor of any kind is neither smart nor helpful. To give them places of honor is to invite trouble. They don’t know how to handle honor or responsibility.
Principle #3 – Don’t argue with foolish people.
2 Tim. 2:23-24 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
You will be tempted to argue with a foolish person. All your emotions will lead you in that direction. They bring out the worst in us, so you need to pray much for patience and self-control. If you allow them to drag you into an argument, they have brought you down to their level, and you will never win that argument. You will just end up in great frustration.
Principle #4 – Protect yourself from the resentment and anger caused by foolish people.
Proverbs 27:3 A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is heavier than both.
Proverbs 14:7 Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips.
In her book, Foolproofing Your Life, Jan Silvious gives very good advice about dealing with foolish people. She reminds us that we often have responsibilities toward some foolish people. Often we must interact with foolish people. You can’t avoid all of them. But it is your responsibility to protect yourself from their words, their actions, their accusations, their behavior.
We must learn how to set boundaries for foolish people. For example, if you work with a foolish person who is lazy and tries to dump his or her work on you, you will need to nicely but firmly define your boundaries. You will have to communicate in clear language that you will not do the work for them. After all, you not only do a disservice to yourself to allow them to dump their workload on you, but you enable them to continue in their inappropriate foolish behavior.
You keep them from experiencing the consequences of their foolish behavior, and until they do, there is no motivation for them to change.
One good result of dealing with foolish people is that they drive us to our knees and teach us to seek God’s wisdom and strength. But here’s the good news—some foolish people can and will change. Maybe not many, but some will. I spent ten years behaving foolishly, but God brought me to a place of repentance and change. So, nobody is doomed; God is able to deliver anyone who seeks him. Don’t get discouraged; keep praying for God’s intervention in that foolish person’s life, and meanwhile, let God use it for good in your own life.
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