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When we procrastinate in being reconciled, all kinds of problems are created. The break in the relationship grows deeper and wider. The reason for the break is exaggerated and amplified way beyond reality. Innocent people are hurt because the relationship is not reconciled. Gossip and backbiting increase. It causes church and family splits and most tragically, it adversely affects our testimony for Jesus Christ.
Jesus said “First go. . .” That’s a directive, right? Not a suggestion, but a direct command. And who is to go? You are. You should make the first move even if you’re not the one at fault. The Master said you make that first effort to be reconciled and do so quickly.
Some earthly counselors probably wouldn’t give you that kind of advice. They’re more likely to say, “If someone has something against you and it’s not your fault, it’s not your problem. Let him or her make the first move.” But notice that Jesus said regardless of the circumstances, if there is a rift in your relationship with another person, go quickly and try to repair it.
To do that is obviously a very humbling thing to do. We have to humble ourselves, but of course, Scripture teaches us to be willing to humble ourselves.
How you approach someone with whom you are seeking reconciliation is very important. I would not recommend that you repeat all their mistakes, nor defend yourself and explain why you are not at fault. This is not the time to recite how you have been hurt or harmed, or to lecture the other person. Rather, it is the time to lovingly accept blame for whatever you have done that has contributed to the bad feelings, and talk about what you are willing to do to mend the relationship.
Keep in mind that reconciliation is not for the purpose of airing your grievances; it is rather to cease hostility. Anything that might cause hostility to increase or continue should not be a part of your efforts to reconcile.