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PROGRAM D-8142
I’m examining the idea of “controlling the controllable.” It seems that all-too-often we are trying to control things that are not within our control and, thus, failing to control the controllable. We have the tendency to try to control the people in our lives, yet that simply doesn’t work.
Our Heritage: Another thing we cannot control is our heritage. You had absolutely no choice about the family you were born into.
I have been highly blessed by God to have been born into the most wonderful kind of family, with lots of love, security, and a Christian upbringing. However, I’m well aware that many of you had family situations which were—and maybe still are—painful and difficult. This can range from simple personality clashes to abuse of all kinds.
The family each of us was born into is beyond our control. Our heritage from that family is not controllable. We could not control whether we were born a boy or a girl. Indeed, our heritage is beyond our control.
Our Past: Another thing beyond our control is our past. For some of us, if we could just do something about that past, we would. The sins and mistakes, the bad decisions, the wrong turns—they haunt us. We often imagine what life would be like if we could just control and change our past. But the past is already in the books and, as painful or as unfair as it may seem, we cannot control it.
Certainly, there are many, many things in life that are not controllable: the economy; the company’s decision to “down-size”; the drunk driver who swerved and hit your car. The list goes on and on.
What do we typically do when we encounter the uncontrollable people and things in our lives?
Frequently, we simply keep trying to control the uncontrollable—beating our heads against brick walls, if you will. Sometimes, our reaction is to live in denial of the uncontrollable and pretend these problems don’t exist. Some people try the run-away method. I think of someone I know who moves a lot, changes jobs frequently, can never find a church she likes, and is always on the run. Her method of coping with the uncontrollable is to run away from the problem.
Whatever method we use in trying to control the uncontrollable, we always end up in frustration and disappointment, doing ourselves great harm. We build up anger and bitterness, which damages us greatly, we get vindictive and vengeful, and we add immense stress to our lives!
I want to encourage you to remember that if you will control the controllable things in your life, you can cope with the uncontrollable.