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PROGRAM D-7345
What do we need to do if someone has offended us—if we find ourselves sitting in the seat of the offended? Forgiveness is the way Jesus taught us to deal with those who offend us. But it’s not easy, is it? It’s not easy to forgive someone who has hurt you and has not even acknowledged that hurt, much less asked for forgiveness.
Remember that forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve your forgiveness simply means that you give up your right for revenge, and you turn them over to God, because vengeance belongs to God and he will repay. They will not get off scot-free. God will do what is right and just; you can count on it. I can’t tell you when, but I can assure you that someday every wrong will be made right.
If you’re unwilling to forgive those who have offended you, it is probably because of pride. That’s because when we’re hurt, we can start to elevate ourselves and think that we deserve to be treated with respect, and it’s wrong for others to offend us. Do you recognize the pride in that kind of thinking? It’s stinkin’ thinkin’!
I remember the story of a saint of old who was falsely accused in the newspaper of all kinds of wrongs. When he read it, his response was, “But they don’t know the half.” Instead of defending himself, he didn’t allow pride to cause him to get into the seat of the offended. You see, it’s hard to offend a truly humble person.
What do you do to get out of the seat of the offended? Romans 12:20 says: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” What does it mean to heap burning coals on his head? That is a quote from Proverbs 25, and the idea is that the burning coals do not damage them. They melt their hearts as metal can be melted by hot coals. Their hard-heartedness, stubbornness, their offensiveness will be melted by the generosity and compassion you show them by not returning evil for evil, but instead returning good for evil.
I ask you to examine yourself and see if you are sitting in the seat of the offender or the offended. You really don’t want to be in either one. You can be set free the very day you decide that you’re really tired of being offended, and you don’t want to offend others anymore.