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PROGRAM D-8316
How often do you say something like, “It’s driving me crazy”? Or “He’s driving me crazy”? It’s a way of expressing frustration and impatience with something or someone. More often than not, it is someone—that person who is getting on your very last nerve! Since this is something many of us can relate to, I want to examine how we can deal with toxic people—especially coworkers—who are “driving you crazy!”
Someone has said that relationships are the sandpaper of our lives, and you would probably agree with that—right? When you are dealing with a relationship that is usually not your choice—like a coworker—and when that person’s continual behavior is harmful and disruptive, you really can feel like you’re losing it—or as we say, you’re going crazy.
This is one area where your light for Jesus should shine because, as a Christ-follower, you and I have Holy-Spirit-power to give us the ability to deal with toxic people appropriately. Let me share some biblical principles that can help you deal with your toxic coworkers.
First let’s define a toxic person. That’s a good place to begin. Toxic means poisonous, dangerous, harmful, and persistent. So, a toxic person is one who can poison an atmosphere, and their actions and words are harmful and repetitive. Not just a once-in-awhile bad day, but a recurring unhealthy and hurtful behavior. Here are some signs that a person is toxic:
- They talk more than they listen.
- They are always right—never admit to being wrong.
- They are drama queens or kings—drama seems to follow them everywhere.
- They lack tact and general courtesy.
- They often lie to make themselves look good or to get what they want.
- They exhibit controlling behaviors.
- They love to talk about other people—to gossip.
- They are, in general, very negative people.
Here’s the first thing I want to remind you, as we talk about dealing with toxic people: They are people that God loves, just as much as he loves you. I remember long ago when I worked for a boss who was anything but pleasant; I just found it hard to even be around him. But I remember clearly one day when the thought came to me—no doubt from the Holy Spirit: that God loved him just as much as he loves me! I had to sit down and think about it. How could God love someone so unlovable? But it’s true. Because God is love, he loves that toxic person in your life just as much as he loves you.
Step one is to ask God to help you see that toxic person the way God sees them.