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Have you been sorely disappointed in a relationship? I find this is one area in life where all of us make a basic mistake of expecting too much from a person or a relationship.
For example, I observe that happy marriages are those who have adjusted their expectations of their mates and learned to appreciate what they have instead of expecting what they can’t get. The same is true with our children. When we stop expecting them to fulfill our dreams, we discover some beautiful things about them that we never saw before. Unrealistic expectations blind us and keep us from seeing and enjoying the good we do have in relationships.
Dear friends, there is no person on earth who can deliver on every promise and be everything we want them to be to us. People will always disappoint us; that’s because we’re all sinners and the best of us fail miserably at times.
But at the same time, God gives us people—mates and friends and relatives and coworkers—who can bring us great joy and enhance our lives in many ways, if we’ll simply accept them the way they are and adjust our expectations of them.
I’ve discovered that true contentment and joy is mine when I’m willing to go to Jesus for the fulfillment I’ve been expecting from others. But there have been times in my life when I wasn’t willing to do that, and believe me, they were roller-coaster years of frustration and disappointment.
A young woman wrote me, telling me how her boyfriend has failed her and is disappointing her. Nevertheless she went on to say, in so many words, “don’t expect me to find what I’m looking for in Jesus alone, because Jesus can’t put his arms around me or take me out on Saturday nights or run his fingers through my hair.” It’s clear that she has decided that a relationship with Jesus cannot be a substitute for what she expects from her boyfriend.
Well, she’s in a lose/lose situation, because that boyfriend will continue to disappoint her, and she refuses to adjust her expectations. In addition, she shuns the one relationship that will never disappoint her. I urge you to discover for yourself that Jesus is able to meet your needs. Then when others fail to come through, which will happen throughout your life, you will not be devastated by your own unrealistic expectations.