Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 3:00 — 4.1MB)
I’d like you to think of someone you know who you consider to be a truly godly, mature Christian. What is the major characteristic you admire about that person? I doubt you would say, “They have very high self-esteem.” And yet we often hear you must have high self-esteem in order to be successful.
In his booklet, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, Tim Keller talks about gospel-humility, which he defines as not needing to think about yourself. That is a lesson God has been teaching me for years—that self is not my solution, it’s my problem. The more I can forget myself, the better off I am. When you don’t need to think about yourself, it means you have a very good understanding of who you are in Christ, and that’s all you need to know.
Tim writes, “True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself.” It’s not something we try to do; it’s something that happens as we more and more know our true identity in Christ.
A truly gospel-humble person doesn’t hate herself; she just doesn’t think about herself. This self-forgetful person would never be terribly hurt by criticism because she doesn’t put much value on what other people think about her, any more than what she thinks about herself.
Not long ago someone was very upset with me, due mainly to miscommunication, and she let me know it. Although her response didn’t make me happy, I was amazed to see it did not devastate me. I’m slowly getting to the place where my self-worth depends less and less on what other people think about me—even on what I think about myself. Criticism or praise from others is not what my identity is built on any longer—at least not like it has been in the past. And my friends, this is wonderful freedom.
There is true freedom in self-forgetfulness. You get to that place by immersing yourself in the truth of God’s Word, making loving God and loving others your highest priority, and then you discover gradually you are thinking less and less about yourself, about your hurt feelings, about how you compare to others or what others think about you. It is marvelous freedom, and every Christian should know and live in this freedom.
