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Presented by Lisa Bishop
Several years ago, someone said something that left a deep impression on me. “Treat everyone as if their heart is breaking because it probably is.” Now, that may sound strange but let me explain. We know to be human is to experience suffering. No one on the planet will go through life without some form of hardship, heartache, loss, pain, or disappointment. We all will experience seasons of suffering; there’s no escaping it. You most likely have already experienced your own version of suffering, and everyone you come into contact with, if they haven’t already, will too. And that is the sentiment behind the thought, “Treat everyone as if their heart were breaking, because it probably is” … or has or will at some future time. So be mindful that there’s often more going on with people than meets the eye.
You and I are acutely aware of our heartaches, yet we can often miss the clues when people around us are experiencing their own form of hardship. I’ve learned that suffering can wear many faces. It can express itself through anger, addiction, inflicting pain on others, outbursts, depression, anxiety, and pride, which can be an unconscious defense against vulnerability and the hidden pain of shame.
I don’t like to admit it, but I can find myself getting impatient when people act out or do not behave the way that I think they “should.” It can be easier to turn to judgment rather than curiosity. What I mean is that we can be prone to making judgments about a person’s behavior rather than taking the time to understand the underlying issues that may be driving it.
In his book, A Grief Observed, a collection of reflections on his experience of heartache following the death of his wife, theologian C.S. Lewis writes, “I sat with anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief.” [1]
Isn’t that such a deep and profound insight?
When we witness a co-worker’s outburst or a friend’s off-putting behavior, are we quick to distance ourselves or to come alongside to see what grief, pain, or disappointment they may be hiding behind? While the customs of the world teach us to criticize and condemn when people act that way, you and I, as image bearers of Jesus, are called to a higher way.
In his letter to the church in Colasse, the Apostle Paul gave a clear call to followers of Jesus. As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, along with kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12).
The definition of compassion is, “The deep awareness of the suffering of another accompanied by the desire to relieve it.”
To clothe yourself is to intentionally put on compassion and let it drive your heart and your actions.
Compassion goes beyond empathy. Empathy is about putting yourself in someone else’s position and feeling what they might feel in a situation. Empathy is a necessary emotion and something we should regularly make a habit of. Empathy takes time to listen to others, deeply listen, without judgment or agenda.
When you listen empathically to someone you are not trying to fix them or give them advice; you have a heart posture to truly seek to understand, be present, and listen in a way that the person feels heard and valued.
Compassion takes empathy a step further. Compassion is about recognizing someone’s emotions and wanting to help them. It’s “empathy in action.” More than words or sentiments, compassion not only listens, but it also responds in a way that desires to come alongside and lend a helping hand.
We know compassion is a characteristic of God. As his image bearers, Jesus has given us the ability to feel compassion and be moved by it to act on behalf of others. We see the compassion of the Lord on display throughout the Old Testament as well as numerous stories of the compassion of Jesus in the New Testament.
In the gospel of Luke, an expert of religious law asked Jesus:
What must I do to inherit eternal life?
Jesus responds by asking him, What is written in the Law? How do you read it?
The expert of the law answered, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself.
Jesus said, You have answered correctly. Do this and you will live.
The expert of the law replied, Who is my neighbor? In essence he was asking who and how do I need to love? And Jesus responds with the parable of the Good Samaritan.
A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance, a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him (Luke 10:25-34).
Now we may not come across someone beaten down in the road. But is there someone in your workplace who is dismissed and discarded? Someone feeling a bit beat up by their circumstances in life. How can you come alongside them, befriend them, and advocate for them? Compassion sees those who are looked over and responds. Compassion is God’s love in action.
Another example is told in the gospel of Matthew.
Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’ (Matthew 9:35-38)
As Jesus encountered the depth of human need, he was moved to compassion for people. He wasn’t too busy or consumed; he didn’t overlook the face of people’s problems.
How often do we find ourselves hunkered down at work, overwhelmed with our to-do list rather than recognizing the needs of others in our midst? As Jesus was moved to action, we also see him calling his followers to have compassion too, and that applies to me and you.
The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few (Matthew 9:37). Jesus saw the greatness of human need as a beautiful opportunity to be met with the good news of the gospel. The crowds were harassed and helpless, like a sheep without a shepherd (Matthew 9:36). They were misguided by false religions and worldly customs much like multitudes of people today who follow voices that are void of hope and lead them astray. As Christ-followers, we are to do all we can to help guide people toward a better way.
Jesus’ compassion looked like coming alongside the crowds, teaching them, sharing a message of hope, and loving them. We can come alongside others with compassion and kindness and love them without condition too. This is not always easy to do, especially with those we find a bit more challenging to love. But when we see the value and dignity in everyone, we’ll take the road less traveled and choose compassion and care over criticism and condemnation.
Proximity can help with seeing people’s humanity. When we take intentional time to get to know people, we will find that everybody has challenges they’re trying to overcome, and this will cultivate empathy which can lead to compassion. It will take time and consistency in our relationships.
The Lord has put people in your path for a reason. He has uniquely positioned you in your workplace. Whether you are there for 5 months or 15 years he has placed you with the people in your organization and on your team with a purpose. How well do you know the people around you? And not just those who are like you!
In our hybrid work environments, it can be more challenging to connect with our coworkers. You don’t have the same ease of casual conversations that can lead to greater connection. It may take some extra effort on your part but remember, you have the privilege of being called a laborer for Christ.
The harvest is plenty…. The number of people who do not yet know Jesus is vast. “The workers,” those who are willing to share the good news and life-transforming power of a relationship with Jesus, are few. To faithfully fulfill that calling, we need to consider, “Am I living in a way that puts the glory of God on display?”
With your actions, words, behavior, and demeanor. The way you handle upsets and disagreements. The manner with which you do your work. The way you lead and treat those who report to you. Giving credit to others rather than taking the spotlight only for you. These are all ways you build credibility so when the opportunity to share your faith is presented to you (and it will be because God does not waste opportunities) you will be a believable witness to the life-changing power of the gospel of Jesus Christ working in you.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about living a perfect life. We can make mistakes and still be a credible witness for Jesus when we humbly admit we are wrong, acknowledge our shortcomings, commit to improve, and live with integrity.
Which brings me to another thought. To give compassion, we need to receive compassion.
Do you know God has infinite compassion towards you?
Psalm 103:8 says, The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
The compassion of God overflows to you. When you experience upsets, defeats, or depression, God is near to you.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Jesus showed compassion to sinners, tax collectors, prostitutes, and the destitute. The simple fact of being human, born with value and dignity, dictates we all deserve compassion.
So here are some practical ways that we can show compassion.
Listen Actively: Often, people need a listening ear more than anything else. By being present and listening without judgment, you show you care deeply about their feelings and experiences.
Offer Help: Look for practical ways to assist someone and meet a need. Whether it’s helping a coworker on a work assignment, buying groceries for someone who is grieving, or offering to sit with someone at a doctor’s appointment, there are numerous ways to lend a helping hand and show you care.
Pray for Others: Prayer is a powerful tool for compassion. It not only shows your concern but also invites God’s intervention in people’s lives.
Show Kindness: Small acts of kindness, like a smile, a kind word, or a warm gesture, can have a profound impact on those around us. My neighbor’s mom passed away, and although I knew there was nothing I could do to take away the pain, I baked him a loaf of sourdough bread and left it on his doorstep. He sent me a text saying, “Thank you so much. I love sourdough bread.” Simple acts can brighten someone’s day and make them feel seen and valued.
Who in your life might be in need of compassion right now?
What specific action can you take this week to show compassion to them?
1 John 3:18 reminds us: Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
Jesus gives us opportunities to meet human needs and bring people into his kingdom by showing love and compassion. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to see the needs around us and give us the courage and wisdom to respond.
[1] Lewis, C. S. (2001). A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis. HarperCollins Publishers.