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There is a verse in Song of Songs that I want to consider this week:
Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom (Song of Songs 2:15).
I want to talk about the “little foxes” in our lives—the things that may seem insignificant when in reality they are stealing our joy and keeping us from God’s peace. For example, harboring hurt feelings is a common “little fox” that is very harmful.
Why do we hang on to hurt feelings so long, since we heap unhappiness on our own heads? We certainly don’t get any revenge on our offenders by hanging on to hurt feelings. If you think a pity party will relieve some of your hurt, think again! The more you feel sorry for yourself, the more you will try to find comfort in self-pity—it’s a vicious cycle that never works!
Years ago, God began to reveal to me how hooked I was on pity parties. And for the first time I realized God sees it as a sin. Whether you or I have a legitimate complaint, wallowing in self-pity, nurturing our hurt feelings is simply wrong.
I recognize some hurts may indeed require some time and help for healing. But just think about the little things that hurt your feelings in your everyday life. Like when a person ignores you, a friend speaks to you in an unfriendly way, a relative didn’t call when she knew you were not feeling well, when your boss didn’t give you credit for an important project, or your husband didn’t notice your new hairdo. These are all little foxes that ruin your attitude and steal your joy.
How do you let go of these little foxes? Well, the hurt is in your mind, your thoughts, so you have to bring those hurtful thoughts into captivity, as the Bible says, and refuse to let your thoughts go there. Replace those thoughts with good ones—thankful thoughts, praising thoughts.
Easily hurt feelings produce pity parties, and they are pitiful. If this is one of your little foxes, make it a matter of regular prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to remind you to think about good things and not those little hurt feelings you tend to nurture.