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No doubt where I am in this stage of life has something to do with my focus on the future rather than the past. My future is shorter than my past. I’ve probably lived two-thirds or three-quarters of my life—or maybe much more. No one knows the number of her days except God. But I’m confident that my number of days remaining on this earth is less than the number I’ve lived already—unless God chooses to make me the oldest woman alive or something like that!
Maybe, like me, you’re coming to grips with the reality that you’re facing a shorter future than you would like. Perhaps you’re facing a future as a single person, or so it seems, and you are fearful of not having a companion or mate. Your unknown could be some health issues that are worrying you, or some job issues. What is it about your future that concerns you?
I am not a strategic thinker. I just try to keep my head above water and get done what needs to be done each day. So, it’s not my nature to think about what life will be like in five years or ten years or twenty years. I’ve had more or less the idea that things will always be the way they are, and I’ll keep going forever. One of my favorite comebacks is “age is only a number,” meaning don’t think about it. Just keep going for Jesus.
I’m glad God made me that way, and I fully intend to keep going for Jesus. But as the number of years has continued to pile up, and as I’ve watched others even younger than me face death, and as my knee hurts sometimes, and my hair gets thinner and I forget things I never used to forget, I can no longer ignore the reality that I won’t live forever. There is no guarantee that I’ll even be here tomorrow. And furthermore, it’s mostly out of my control.
And that kind of thinking can rob my peace very easily. It’s the kind of mild depression that you don’t share with anyone very much, but it’s there. I don’t know what the future holds; I don’t know the number of my days, and when I allow my mind to go to the unknowns, my peace doesn’t flow like a river.
So, what do I mean by making peace with your future? I’m talking about making peace with the unknown. Becoming comfortable not knowing. And no matter what stage of life you are now in—no matter how many days are left for you on this earth—we all share a common discomfort about our future, do we not? I think it’s safe to say we all harbor some fear of the future.
For many of us, living in the unknown often can feel worse than receiving actual bad news. At least we know what the bad news is. But wondering when “the other shoe will fall,” letting your mind conjure up all kinds of possibilities of what the future might hold, can steal your peace faster than anything else.
Here’s the thing: You might as well make peace with your future since no amount of fear or discomfort or anxiety or your need to conquer the unknown will change the fact that the unknown is exactly that—unknown and unknowable. No person, no test, no new scientific discovery can cure you of “Unknownaphobia”!
Have you caught that disease—Unknownaphobia? Do you need to make peace with your future—peace with the unknown? Well, let me give you a few suggestions—things that have helped me make peace with my future.
Learn to Live in Today
Jesus gave us this advice:
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34).
Jesus gives us the grace to handle today—not yesterday or tomorrow, just today. Unknownaphobia is a result of worrying about tomorrow—that’s the root cause. Why don’t you memorize this verse and just quote it to yourself several times a day. Mary, don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
You’re thinking “But it’s not that simple.” Yes, it is. Simple—not easy—but simple. You must apply God’s Word, God’s truth to what you’re facing—right then at the moment you’re going through it. It’s like taking medicine when you’re sick. The doctor has given you a prescription and tells you to take it for pain. It will ease your pain, but only if you take it. It does nothing for you as long as it sits in the bottle, I don’t care how much you paid for it! Well, God’s Word is his prescription for your pain, but you have to take it! You have to use it! As long as it just sits on the pages of your Bible, it won’t help you. You take the words off the page, and you apply them to your heart—by faith—whether you feel it or not.
Learn to Overflow with Thankfulness
When you are in the midst of Unknownaphobia, your mind plays tricks on you. Or rather, the enemy of your soul plays tricks on you, and gets your mind focused on all the potentially bad stuff. Becoming a truly thankful person requires intentionality. You have to decide that you’re going to be thankful.
I really want to encourage you to start everyday with thankfulness. Your day is won or lost in the morning hours, so win your day. Make it a thankful day—regardless of what’s going on around you. Recite out loud what you are thankful for—regardless of whether you feel thankful or not. Practice what the Bible teaches us:
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Apply God’s Word—this is God’s will for you to become a thankful person. That’s a big step forward in getting rid of Unknownaphobia.
Learn to Trust a Trustworthy God
Making peace with your future means you entrust your future to the One who does know what tomorrow holds; the One who has numbered your days; the One who has good plans for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you; the One who not only knows what is in your future,
but holds your future in his hands. Your job and mine is to rest in that knowledge and truth.
It was about forty or so years ago that I turned my life over to the Lord and promised that I’d do what he wanted me to do and be who he wanted me to be. And I have to tell you that one of the first things God showed me was that my problem was my fear of trusting him. Now, that may sound simplistic to you, but it was a paradigm shift for me. I finally was able to identify what had caused me for ten long years to run my own life, put God on the backseat of my life, and determine to make sure my future was what I wanted my future to be. It was the fear of trusting God.
And it was this fear of trusting God which was at the center of my Unknownaphobia—my fear of my future. I thought that God might want me to do something I did not want to do. I feared that God would take me places I didn’t want to go. I had my own plans, and I didn’t want God to change them.
When it finally dawned on me that this was my problem—the fear of trusting God—I began to see how totally stupid it was, how completely illogical it was, how it went against everything that Scripture teaches us about God’s purposes for us—and most importantly, I began to see how sinful it was. The very idea that I would, as it were, say, God, excuse me, but I think I can run my life better than you can. I just can’t run the risk that you might take my future somewhere I don’t want it to go, so if you don’t mind, I’ll take charge now, because quite frankly, I just don’t trust you.
You say, Mary did you actually say those words to God? No, of course not. But my life and my actions said that to God. That was what was going on in my head and my heart. I was afraid to trust God with my future. God—the God of the Universe who created me, who knows me better than I know myself, who loves me unconditionally, and who has good plans for me—I just didn’t trust him. And when I finally got it, I repented of that great sin and told God that I intended to trust him from that point on. Here are two verses to cure Unknownaphobia:
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust”
(Psalm 91:2).
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).
I want to ask you, are you under the burden of Unknownaphobia? Are you afraid to trust God? Maybe you haven’t seen it either, and it may come as a surprise to you to admit that you haven’t made peace with your future because you haven’t truly learned to trust a trustworthy God. Could it be that God had you read this to reveal that it’s time for you to deal with the fear of trusting God?
Let me repeat the three things we need to learn in order to make peace with our future:
- Learn to live in today.
- Learn to overflow with thankfulness.
- Learn to trust a trustworthy God.
Is it time for you to learn or re-learn this incredible truth, that the God of the universe loves you, has good plans for you, wants to bring you to a place of peace and joy through his Son, Jesus, and he is trustworthy? It is a learning process, but it has to begin at some point. Is this the day that you will promise God you will begin to learn to live in today, to overflow with thankfulness, and to trust a trustworthy God? If so, you’re in a good place, starting down a good path that leads to peace and joy.