Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:28 — 19.9MB)
If you are in the business world, no doubt you’re surrounded by all types of people, and as a disciple of Jesus Christ, your challenge is to deal with all those people like Jesus would. In fact, that’s true whether you’re in the business world or not! The Christian life is literally, Christ in you, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27). Paul said, For to me, to live is Christ. . . (Philippians 1:21). And again, I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20).
We are the living word of God that people read every day. And if God has chosen to place you in what we call “secular” jobs, among those who yet have no understanding of God’s love and grace, you are his ambassador. But for true Christians, nothing in our lives is secular. We are all called to be ambassadors for Jesus Christ, whether, as a pastor in a church, or driving a truck, or nursing in a hospital, or selling computers, or raising our children—or whatever! It is a big responsibility we carry as ambassadors for Jesus Christ, but the good news is that we have been given the Holy Spirit to dwell in us. It is through his power that we are enabled to take Jesus to work, as it were.
The way we relate to others is through communication—the words we speak, the way we speak to them, our timing, our attitude, our motivation. All of these contribute to the way others perceive us and whether they see Christ in us.
I want to look at some specific examples of how Jesus communicated with different people in different situations, because we can learn from the Master how we can best communicate with the broken world around us.
Communicating with People Who Disappoint Us
Has someone in your life disappointed you greatly? Life is full of those kinds of disappointments. Guess what—you’ve probably disappointed some people, too. When someone disappoints us, if we don’t know how to respond, we can do further damage to that relationship. Well, what can we learn from Jesus in dealing with people who disappoint us?
Did you ever think about how his closest friends and associates failed Jesus? Judas betrayed him; Peter denied him; all the disciples abandoned him in the Garden of Gethsemane, shortly after they had all declared they would even die for him. But at the first sign of trouble, they were gone.
Those twelve men were disappointing failures as disciples, were they not? They were slow to learn. They had their priorities all confused. They displayed very selfish motives for following Jesus and being his disciple. Over and over Jesus indicated his frustration with their lack of faith and trust in him.
Yet, he never threw them off the team. He allowed them to fail; he permitted them to make mistakes; he suffered through their ignorance and arrogance, until finally they became the men he intended them to be—with the exception of Judas.
So, here’s a principle we learn from Jesus when people have failed us or disappointed us or failed to live up to what we expected from them:
Give people time to fail and learn.
This is a people skill we all need to learn from Jesus and learn well. People must have time to learn and grow. Failure is one of the best teaching methods ever invented. Time is also a good teacher. So, in dealing with people, remember that disappointments come with the territory.
Been disappointed in your child lately? Remember what you were like at his or her age. That always does it for me, because I can clearly remember the dumb things I did in my early years, and my daughter is way ahead of where I was. Give your child time to grow. Teach and coach and role model for your children, but remember, they’re going to disappoint you as they grow and learn.
Got an employee who disappoints you sometimes? Maybe that person hasn’t yet polished their verbal skills and they say the wrong words at times. Or maybe their work habits are lacking a bit. Be patient with them. If that person is teachable, he or she could become one of your most valued employees.
Another great people skill principle from our Master: Allow people to fail and disappoint and make mistakes, because in the process they learn and grow.
Inspire people to greatness.
Would you like to help someone be more than they ever thought they could be? Jesus was an expert at inspiring people to greatness.
Think about his famous disciple, Peter. When he first met Jesus, he was called Simon. But we read in John 1 that Jesus looked at him and said, ‘You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas’ (which, when translated, is Peter) (John 1:42).
Cephas and Peter both mean rock. Jesus called him rock. I wonder how Peter felt when Jesus changed his name. I’m quite certain he had some understanding of the meaning of this name change. Jesus was telling him, in effect, “Peter, I want you on my team. You’re going to be my rock. I believe in you, Peter, and you can be greater than you’ve ever imagined.”
This humble, uneducated fisherman did indeed become great in the Kingdom of God. It didn’t happen overnight, you will recall. Peter stumbled along the way many times. But Jesus had given him a new name and called him what he would become. Jesus demonstrated faith in Peter and despite his failures, Peter became the rock Jesus called him. After the resurrection of Jesus and after being filled with the Holy Spirit, Peter was courageous and strong, and was used mightily of God in establishing the early church.
So, here’s another principle we learn from Jesus. If you want to help someone be all they can be, call them what they can become. You probably won’t be able to change their name, but you can say things like, “I believe you could learn to make a very effective presentation. You are good in front of a group.” Or, “You know, you’re good at numbers and statistics. I think you could be great in our research department.” Or to your child, “Honey, you do so well in English. I can see you as a great writer.” Or to your mate, “You have such good insight into people; I bet you’d be a great counselor.”
I think of a good friend of mine who has been by my side in ministry for many years. When we first met, she was dealing with a stuttering problem. I really didn’t realize it at the time, but what I saw in her was a unique ability to capture and hold the attention of a group. In spite of that stutter, she was good on her feet. So, I kept giving her opportunities to make presentations and take part in dramas, and she began to blossom. Now, many years later, she loves to do things like that, and that stuttering issue is way behind her!
Simply expressing confidence in a person can give new hope, a new image of themselves, and it could make a major difference in what they are able to achieve and do. So, call some people some names today like Jesus did for Peter. Call them what they can become, and it will inspire them to go for it.
Be straight-forward with people in confrontational situations.
Do you have difficulty confronting people? My hand is up, I can tell you that. Yet, in dealing with people, there are times we must confront. This is one of the most sensitive communication challenges you will face, because you have to speak the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it can’t be avoided. How can you learn to confront appropriately?
Well, we turn to Jesus to see how he confronted, and if you’ve read the gospels at all, you know he confronted rather bluntly at times. Read Matthew 23 and you’ll see some examples of how directly Jesus confronted some people. He confronted the religious leaders for their hypocrisy, calling them blind guides and hypocrites. No mincing words for Jesus in some of those confrontations. But notice that he said these things to their faces, never behind their backs, and he did so because he wanted to shock them into seeing their true condition.
He knew this was no time to mince words or worry about hurting their feelings. This was a life and death issue, and they needed to know the truth that would set them free. He also knew the harm they were inflicting on their followers, and he took that very seriously.
One thing we learn from Jesus when it comes to confronting people, is that there are times when we must be straight-forward, times when we must boldly confront others for their good. This is especially true if you’re in a management position. We all fear these kind of straight-forward confrontations because it is temporarily very uncomfortable. And rarely do people accept these words well initially. Yet it may be exactly what is needed for long-term change, which in the end is for their good more than anyone else’s.
Always confront under control.
Jesus never confronted people out of control. He may have been angry because of their actions or words, but when he brought them face to face with the truth, as painful as that was, he did so out of real concern for them as well as for those they would influence. You know, sometimes we have to confront people because of the effect they have on others.
In a recent situation I recognized harm that was being done to a group of people because of one person’s behavior. Had that behavior affected only me, perhaps there would have been no need for confrontation. But when I realized the harmful effect on others, I knew it was my job, as the one in authority in that situation, to confront this person. I can tell you; it ruined my day. I was uncomfortable. But I knew it was a necessary thing to do.
You may not think of confrontation as a people skill, but it definitely is. And Jesus can help you do it effectively if you will pray about it, study his method of confrontation, and grit your teeth to do what needs to be done. Of course, our motives must be scrutinized before we confront them.
There is much to learn from our Master. For example, in part two we’ll talk about how Jesus dealt with people who were on the margins—not a good fit in the society, and we’ll see how he broke down walls of resistance when he dealt with the woman at the well.