Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 3:00 — 4.1MB)
Do you have difficulty setting reasonable boundaries in your life? In this episode of Fran and Jesus on the Job, Fran faces various people in her life who are pushing her boundaries. The first one deals with a friend, Jane, who continually exceeds acceptable boundaries in her demands on Fran’s time. Jane calls Fran quite often and talks for long periods of time about all her issues. You might say she is a high-maintenance friend, but Fran has tried to listen and help her, thinking that this is the right thing to do.
It’s Sunday afternoon and Fran has planned to spend a quiet day at home with her two children, just playing games with them and having fun. In the midst of a game the phone rings and Jane is on the other end.
As Fran sees Jane’s caller ID, she is really tempted to just let it go—but she’s supposed to be there for her friends, right? So, she answers and sure enough Jane begins her typical long and detailed complaining and whining.
At first, Fran tries to encourage her and offer some suggestions, but everything she says is resisted by Jane, and it seems Fran can do nothing but listen. After twenty minutes, Drew says, “Mom, aren’t we gonna finish our game?” No doubt Jane heard Drew, but she completely ignores it and continues her tirade. After another ten minutes and several pleas from Drew and Alice, Fran realizes that Jane is not going to stop anytime soon, so Fran says, “Hey, Jane, the kids and I were playing a game and I promised them we’d finish, so if you don’t mind, I need to get back to them. I’ll be praying for you. In fact, why don’t I pray for you now before we hang up?”
Jane says, “Well, I know you’re always busy and don’t have time to talk—I guess games are more important to you than friends.” And with that she hangs up, ignoring Fran’s offer to pray.
“Wow,” Fran says to herself, “I guess I should have let her keep talking—but honestly, it doesn’t do any good to listen to her. I don’t know, Lord, what am I supposed to do?” And then the false guilt starts to set in. Fran needs to take that hard step of setting some boundaries, for her sake as well as Jane’s.
Have you got some “Janes” in your life—people who continually bend your ear and take up your time, but nothing good ever seems to come from it? Maybe it’s time to set some boundaries. You see, setting boundaries is often very uncomfortable and false guilt is one of our enemies.