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In today’s jargon it’s not unusual to hear someone say, “Just get over it!” While that can sound abrupt or uncaring, there is in that hackneyed phrase some good advice. I’m going to focus on what you and I need to “get over,” what we need to put behind us, what we need to abandon in order to be effective for Jesus, as well as peaceful and happy.
And the first thing we need to “get over” is hurt feelings. So much harm comes from hurt feelings, so much unnecessary pain. So, if your feelings are hurt easily, I would kindly say to you, “Get over it.”
But how? Here are some suggestions.
- Break old habits. When your feelings are hurt, think, “Is this really about me, or could there be some other reason that this person behaved in this way?” Break that habit of taking everything personally and imagining that someone is intentionally offending you, when in reality they may be simply focused on their own problems and not thinking about you at all.
Philippians 4:8 says we are to think about things that are of a good report, not a bad report. Yet we are all prone to jump to negative conclusions when someone behaves in a less-than-friendly way. Ask God to help you break those old habits.
- Buy time. Don’t respond to your hurt feelings quickly. Swallow those words you want to say, and simply buy yourself some time to be able to move from the emotional to the rational.
- Build healthy calluses. Ask God to toughen you up, so that you are not so prone to take everything personally. Seek to build a more healthy outlook so that those unintended remarks or actions that have hurt you in the past will start to bounce off.
- Bring it into the open. If you feel you have truly been offended, write out how you were hurt, and put it away for two days. Then read it again, and if you are still truly offended, determine how you will confront that person in a biblical, loving way. Chances are good that after two days you’ll tear up the paper and say to yourself that it’s really not that big a deal.
It will take God’s power to change these long-ingrained habits of hurt feelings, but if you are born from above, you have the power of God’s Spirit to enable you to “get over it.”