Mistakes to Avoid with Your Manager

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If you are a Christian in the working world, working for someone else, I’m sure you know already that your manager or employer can have a lot of influence on your success in your job and in your career. It makes sense, then, that you would want to avoid any mistakes you can in that relationship, right?

In my career I’ve been on both sides of that issue—as an employee and an employer. I’ve managed people and been managed by both men and women, and I’ve made lots of mistakes! I want to share some of my own experience, but even more importantly, to see what the Bible has to say about these kind of relationships—with those in authority over us.

They say that experience is the best teacher, and there is truth in that. But wouldn’t it be good if we could avoid some negative and harmful experiences by learning in advance some mistakes to avoid? Wise people avoid mistakes as much as possible, right?

Proverbs 16:16 says: “How much better to get wisdom than gold, to get insight rather than silver!”

Have you ever thought about the fact that wisdom is more valuable than money? Getting wisdom on your job is better than getting a raise! And Proverbs 13:10 says that “. . . Wisdom is found in those who take advice.” So, I’m going to share a little wise advice today that just might help you avoid some mistakes in dealing with your manager or employer—or the person in authority over you.

Mistake 1: Complaining About Your Manager

I would say that it is inevitable that you won’t like everything your manager does. There is bound to be something in their style or skills that you don’t agree with or you feel is ineffective. I can tell you from experience that managers are easy targets for complaining and griping in most organizations.

A man I worked with in my first sales job gave me a good piece of advice, which was: It’s your job to get along with your manager, not your manager’s job to get along with you. That probably goes against our culture today, but let me tell you, that attitude will work very well for you. I know—not all managers are good at their job. I know—not all managers are good communicators. And some managers or employers are pretty close to impossible. I know! But as long as you report to that person, you will do yourself a favor to remember that it’s your job to get along with your manager, not your manager’s job to get along with you!

One of the favorite past-times of many employees is to bad-mouth the boss and the company. If you’re wise, you will avoid that like the plague. Ecclesiastes 10:20 says: “Do not revile the king even in your thoughts, or curse the rich in your bedroom, because a bird in the sky may carry your words, and a bird on the wing may report what you say.”

What wise Solomon is telling us is that talking behind the back of someone in authority, saying things you wouldn’t say to their face, will almost always backfire on you. Somehow those grumblings make their way back to that person, and they find out what you’ve said. Some little bird tells them! And that is a mistake you want to avoid.

Mistake 2: Showing Up Your Boss

It seems that some people think they have to show up the boss in order to make a name for themselves, but intentionally trying to outshine your boss is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. The exception to this would be if you discover that your boss is corrupt or illegal in some way, which is rare, but otherwise, it is in your best interest to make your boss look good. Think of ways to make their job easier; when you can, go the extra mile to take some workload off of them. They are in a position to help you or harm you, so be sure to avoid this mistake.

1 Peter 5:6 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” Making your boss look good may indeed require some humility on your part, where you don’t get the credit you think you deserve. But it is one way to humble yourself, and that is a Christian discipline we all need to learn to practice.

Mistake 3: Not Understanding Generational Differences

No doubt you have discovered that different generations see things very differently! And frequently your manager’s generation is not the same as yours. Whether older or younger, you can make some serious mistakes in dealing with your manager if you don’t understand and make allowances for these generational differences.

For example, punctuality doesn’t seem to be as important to younger generations as it is to us in the older groups. We older types put a high value on being on time for work, for meetings, meeting deadlines, etc. Younger generations are truly more “laid back,” as we say, and have an attitude that if the job gets done, we shouldn’t worry about such small things as being on time. Believe me, if your boss thinks punctuality is important, you should make it important.

I have observed people who truly did great harm to their careers simply by being unwilling to conform to reasonable expectations from their boss or company.

Mistake 4: Displaying Negative Attitudes in Meetings

Now, let me begin by saying that negative attitudes are always harmful, but I’ve noticed that a person who seems to have some negative comment in most meetings can really do themselves great harm. Obviously, you should feel free to express your opinions and suggestions, but often it’s just the way you do it that makes all the difference. I think of someone who has developed a reputation in the mind of the management of the organization that he is never happy with what’s happening. Sometimes it shows on his face; sometimes it comes through in a cynical or snide remark. But it is not working to his benefit. He is, as it were, putting his worst foot forward.

Allowing yourself to be put in a “I’m never happy” mold is just not smart, and of course, it’s not biblical either.

Proverbs 17:22 gives us some good advice: “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Keeping a generally cheerful attitude and demeanor will make you more attractive and more appealing, someone people want to be with. So, think about what kind of attitude you generally portray, and make sure you come across as a person who sees the glass as half full! Your boss will appreciate that very much, I guarantee.

Mistake 5: Not Being Able to Handle Feedback

The only way any of us grow and mature is to become aware of areas in our life that need improvement. That means we need feedback from our managers at times, even if it is a bit hard to handle. For sure, none of us enjoys being told we need to improve, but if you develop a reputation that you can’t take honest criticism, you will stunt your growth as a person and in your career.

Proverbs 12:1 says: “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.” And Proverbs 15:31 says, “Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise.” Life-giving correction is the perfect terminology for constructive criticism, even if you feel it was not given in a constructive manner. Be willing to hear and then truly consider any criticism that comes your way.

Don’t make the mistake of not being able to handle feedback. As we just saw from Proverbs, that would be a stupid thing to do.

Mistake No. 6: Going Over Your Manager’s Head

When I worked in IBM, we had something called the Open Door policy. This simply meant that any employee was empowered to go to their boss with any complaint or suggestion or question, because the door was always open. However, the rule was that you go first to your immediate supervisor, and if for some reason that was not satisfactory, you could go to the next level of management. But if you decided to go over your manager’s head and talk first to their manager, you would be immediately advised that you first talk to your manager before taking it any further, and it would not be well-received if you didn’t do it that way.

This Open Door policy is a good one, I believe, in keeping communications open and allowing for grievances to be resolved. But you begin by talking first to your immediate manager and not going over their head. You may feel that your manager will not listen and will not do anything about your situation, but until you have tried to resolve it on that level, it will almost always be a mistake to bypass your manager and go to the next level.

Mistake No. 7: Failing to Pay Attention to the “Small Stuff”

Remembering that perception equals reality, if you fail to do the things that create good impressions, you will do harm to yourself and your career. For example, dressing appropriately for your position. I know that casual attire is very acceptable in many work environments, but even if that is true where you work, your casual attire needs to be neat, clean, modest, and coordinated. Looking sloppy or careless won’t do you any good, believe me. Go the extra mile, if necessary, to give the perception that you do care how you look and you do take time to make a professional appearance.

Take clues from your manager. If he or she dresses very professionally, that tells you that they expect and respect that kind of appearance from those who work for them.

Good manners is another “small thing” that can make a difference in how your boss sees you. The simple everyday manners of helping others, letting others go first, thanking people, showing kindness to others—those little things create an impression. Failing to pay attention to them can be self-inflicted harm to you. This verse sums it up perfectly: “For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of man” (2 Cor. 8:21).

These are seven mistakes to avoid, but since we all make mistakes, here’s what to do when you have made a mistake:

• Acknowledge the mistake.
• Take responsibility and offer to fix the problem, if it’s one you can fix. That may be something as simple as a sincere apology, but your willingness to take the responsibility will go down very well with your manager.
• Move on and do the best possible work you can, avoiding the mistake in the future. Don’t wallow in guilt; put it behind you and learn from the experience.
• Don’t let the mistake shake your confidence so that you lose your ability to do your work.

Remember, everyone makes mistakes at one time or another. Don’t hide behind your mistakes, but don’t hide under your desk either. Show your boss it was a fluke and that it will never happen again. Then, make it a matter of prayer. If you are a Christ-follower, you have power through prayer and God’s Spirit to put mistakes behind you and move forward.