Are You Under Conviction or Condemnation?

Condemnation is a vague, indefinite guilty feeling, like a black cloud over your head all the time following you everywhere you go. And no matter where you are or what you’re doing, you just can’t get rid of the black cloud. But the problem is you’re not really sure what you feel guilty about. 

 

Conviction, on the other hand, is definite and specific. When you are convicted about something, you know exactly what it is, and you know exactly what you need to do. It’s not vague; it’s usually piercing. It feels like an arrow in your heart or your side or your stomach. But you’re not confused about what the problem is. And that feeling of conviction bothers you until you do what you know you should do, and then it goes away and your joy returns.

 

God is not the author of confusion and he never deals with us in vague and indefinite feelings. He gives us clear signals when we are in disobedience, and his conviction is easily recognizable. So, the big difference between conviction and condemnation is that one is from God—conviction—and the other one is not—condemnation. In Romans 8:1 Paul reminds us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. 

 

Usually conviction concerns something in our immediate past: an unkind word we spoke yesterday, or a jealous reaction we had last week; a relationship that is not glorifying to God. Those are the kind of things in our lives that God convicts us about. And the closer you walk to the Lord, the more quickly you are convicted and the more the little things bother you, as well as the big ones. 

 

Not long ago my tongue got out of control—again—and I said some really stupid words to a person. No sooner had I said them than the arrow of conviction pierced my heart, and I had no rest until I apologized and asked for forgiveness. That is conviction; it’s painful, but you know what it is and you know what to do.

 

You see, conviction is given by God for our good, not to punish us or belittle us or humiliate us. God knows that we are fulfilled and happy when we are walking closely with him and living by his principles. Therefore, for our own good, he convicts us of specific things in areas of disobedience. Conviction is always for our own good and yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness.

 

Condemnation, on the other hand, often drives us into ancient history and dredges up things that have long been forgiven and forgotten by God. Sometimes it is messages we’ve received or been given from our past which come back to haunt us. Condemnation is often untruthful and it is never edifying. It doesn’t cause you to repent and change, because you don’t know what you’re guilty of!

 

Condemnation crushes a person. It is not given for the purpose of building someone up or helping them improve. It is given judgmentally; it is intended to hurt; it is frequently vindictive and usually hateful. Like conviction, it is painful, but unlike conviction, it doesn’t yield a beneficial result. Rather it results in broken relationships, hurt feelings, discouragement, revenge, bitterness, malice and all kinds of ugly things.

 

I’ve noticed that often people who’ve endured the most condemnation in their lives are the ones to lay condemnation on others. It is typical behavior when we’re hurt, to strike back and try to hurt others. Those who feel most condemned are the ones usually who condemn the most.

 

Do you sometimes feel as though you’re under a heavy load of condemnation from some person or persons? I’ve been realizing lately what a burden it is when we feel condemned. And that’s a good way to put it—when we feel condemned—because condemnation is a feeling.

 

Where does condemnation come from? Your enemy! Satan is a master at keeping us under this cloud of condemnation because then he knows he will keep us from the joy of the Lord, which is our strength.   

 

Our enemy often uses other people as his means of delivering condemnation. It may come through a boss who is impossible to please. Or perhaps through a co-worker who has a way of letting you know that he or she does things better than you, doesn’t make mistakes like you do, and is smarter than you are. Many times even a good friend can lay condemnation on us if we let them, or the person closest to us, like a mate who criticizes all the time, or a parent who has unrealistic expectations. 

 

Condemnation can come from all kinds of sources, and it can come in small doses, or in large ones. It can be a one-time shot we take from someone, or an on-going barrage to which we are continually subjected. 

 

Many of us are very good at condemning ourselves by not letting go of the past. And often we feel condemned because we take things too personally. Someone says something intended to be an innocent off-hand remark, but we let it get blown out of proportion in our minds, and receive it as condemnation rather than in the spirit in which it was intended.

 

We must learn to recognize condemnation, whatever the source, and not allow ourselves to be condemned.  "How do you do that?" you ask? Well, here’s what I’m discovering. First, I need to identify the sources of condemnation in my life. For example, if I begin to recognize that a certain person in my life frequently tends to condemn me, then I am better prepared not to accept that condemnation.

 

Maybe it’s a person who just says little things to you all the time; nothing specific, but you always have that guilty feeling that you’re not performing up to their expectations. So, in that person’s presence, you feel condemned. But when God reveals to you that they are trying to condemn you—for whatever reason—but you are not condemned by God, then when they say those things, you think, "But I am not condemned by God and you can’t condemn me." Then, no matter what they say, you do not allow them to condemn you by refusing to dwell on it and let it find a place in your thought life, and therefore you’re not condemned. 

 

Of course we must not do this with a hateful or bitter spirit. When you recognize condemnation, it should actually make you feel much more loving and forgiving toward that person who is trying to condemn you because you understand them better and you feel sorry for them. But God would never lead you to any kind of vengeful or vindictive reaction. However, he will teach you how to recognize and refuse to accept condemnation.

 

However, when we are feeling condemned, we should first of all check it out to see if we’re trying to avoid God’s convicting voice in our life. It could be that God wants to use even someone’s unkind word to us to get us to see an area where we need to change. So, just because the source may not be kind or considerate, they may still be God’s instrument of conviction in our life. We must first be certain that we are indeed dealing with condemnation, not conviction.

 

When you’re feeling condemned, stop immediately and pray about it, something like this: “Lord, I’m feeling very condemned right now by this person (or situation), but I’m not sure why. If there is something you’re trying to convict me of, please make it very clear to me so I’ll know what you want me to do. But if this is not conviction, then by your grace I refuse to accept it and thank you that I am no longer under anyone’s condemnation.”

 

You and I must be willing to face ourselves and discover if we indeed are trying to ignore true conviction, and we must be willing to face our failings and do what the Lord wants us to do. God may show you something definite and specific that he wants you to deal with, and when you do, the feeling of guilt will immediately go away.

 

If nothing specific is brought to your mind after you’ve sincerely prayed about it, you can treat it as condemnation. That means you claim, out loud, over and over, that you are not condemned and you refuse to receive the condemnation. 

 

While it’s great news to know that condemnation does not come from God and therefore, we do not have to accept it from other people, it’s also extremely important to know how to react to a person who tries to condemn us.

 

Don’t get caught in the trap of giving back the condemnation someone is trying to lay on you—that’s very easy to find yourself doing. And don’t allow it to make you bitter or angry. Ask God to give you love for them. You don’t have to like what they do, but we are called to love others.

 

In most cases you won’t need to even talk to them about it. God will take care of their judgmental attitude and give you grace to handle it. But once you know that they are trying to condemn you and you remember that you cannot be condemned, it’s like you have an armor of steel on and their remarks and attitudes just bounce off without penetrating inside of you.

 

There may be times when it will be appropriate to confront the condemnation. For example, to that person who keeps trying to condemn you, you might say at an appropriate time, “You know, I sense that you feel I could do better, but frankly I’m just not sure exactly what it is that you’re unhappy about. I’d be more than glad to try to correct this situation if you could just give me some specific suggestion or recommendation as to what I’m doing wrong and how I could resolve it.”

 

In this way that nebulous condemnation gets brought out into the open and you put the ball in their court, so to speak, so that they must now identify the problem specifically or (hopefully) stop throwing the vague condemnations your way.

 

We learn from Nehemiah 8:10 that the joy of the Lord is our strength. And David taught us in his Psalm of confession that when we refuse to respond to God’s conviction, our joy is taken away. (Psalm 51:12)

 

Conviction by God is intended to lead us to repentance, which means our joy is restored and thereby we are strengthened for service. Condemnation steals our joy from us, and we must learn not to accept condemnation so that we do not lose the joy of the Lord. 

 

Check it out—have you been joyless lately? Pray about it and see if your lack of joy is from conviction or condemnation, then take appropriate steps to get rid of it by either obeying God or refusing to accept the condemnation. You’ll see how the joy of the Lord starts bubbling up inside of you right away as soon as you learn how to deal with condemnation and conviction God’s way.

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