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PROGRAM D-7298
True guilt is the guilt you feel when you’ve failed; when you’ve sinned. You carry true guilt when you refuse to confess and forsake your sin, and live in rebellion against what you know God wants you to do. Until you change, that true guilt will haunt you.
False guilt is what you put on yourself when you keep remembering what God has forgiven and forgotten! False guilt is what you feel when someone appears to be disappointed in you. False guilt often happens when we have to say “no.” False guilt is often a result of trying to please people. False guilt is one of Satan’s best weapons, and he uses it effectively.
Here are some common examples of false guilt:
My daughter said, “But all the other mothers will be there. Why can’t you be there?” I feel guilty but I have to work.
My boss said, “You don’t have that report finished yet?” I feel guilty, but he keeps interrupting me with other priorities, then doesn’t understand why everything doesn’t get done on time!
Before I became a Christian, I had an abortion, which I now regret. Many nights I lie sleepless in bed, feeling so guilty about the baby I destroyed.
My sister just accused me of not spending enough time with her. She feels we should get together every weekend, but I just don’t have time. I feel guilty.
You’ll notice that with false guilt, much of it is laid on us by others who indicate their lack of satisfaction with us in some way. It is natural to feel guilty, but we need to check it out mentally every time it happens. When someone says, “Why weren’t you…” or “Why didn’t you…” or “You should have,” and you immediately start to feel guilty, just stop right there and give it back to the Lord.
I’ve had to learn to do this as I try to minister to people. I remember speaking at a seminar, and one woman said she was so disappointed because I didn’t talk about a certain topic of interest to her. Immediately I started to feel guilty because I had disappointed her, but very quickly I reminded myself that God had not laid it on my heart to talk about that, I don’t even know what I would say about it, and I can’t feel guilty because I didn’t meet her specific need. I can’t meet everyone’s needs, but I don’t have to feel guilty about that.
Watch out for false guilt. It feels like the real thing, but it’s a trick of the enemy. Just go back to the Lord, get his perspective and refuse to accept false guilt.