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Aren’t you glad God’s love for us is not based on how he feels about us? He may be, and I’m sure often is, very displeased with us as individuals, yet his love and goodness toward us are constant. That encourages me, because it means God does not require me to have good feelings toward everyone, and like you, I’ve discovered there are people I just don’t like.

You don’t have to like someone to love them. Webster defines like as to “feel an attraction, tenderness or affection for” someone. We say “I like you because…” and then list the things we like about the person.

But agape love says, “I love you in spite of…”—in spite of the things about you I may not like. We don’t have to feel guilty about not liking everyone. It’s okay! But we are commanded to love others.

Write it on a piece of paper and tape it to your mirror, your desk, over your sink, on your screen saver—wherever you will see it often: Love is not a feeling, love is an action!

I’m sure there were people Jesus did not like. Ever read what he said to the religious hypocrites of his day? Pretty direct. I don’t think he liked them very much at all. But I know he loved them, because he died for them. Love is not a feeling; love is an action. This is our responsibility—to love others, whether we like them or not.

Paul said in his letter to the Romans the Holy Spirit, who was given to us, has poured out the love of God within our hearts (Romans 5:5). Think about God’s love for you. John wrote: To us, the greatest demonstration of God’s love for us has been his sending his only Son into the world to give us life through him. We see real love, not in the fact that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to make personal atonement for our sins.

And remember, God loves those people you don’t like just as much as he loves you. Let God’s love pour all over you and fill you. Remember how he loves you, even when you’re not very lovable. That’s the beginning of learning how to love other people, even the ones you don’t like so much.