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Let’s look at some important principles to remember when you are the person giving the criticism.
First, approach it with the attitude that you are doing this to help the other person. If your motive is not for the good of the other person, you need to deal with that before you do anything else. So, begin with prayer. Ask the Lord to reveal any wrong motives to you. Make certain your concern is truly to help this person.
Second, always choose the right time and the right place. Jesus told us if we had something against someone, we should go to that person privately, one-on-one. And you need to keep in mind that to call someone into a private office and shut the door can send a very alarming and negative message to that person and others. So, maybe over lunch or in a more neutral place would be better.
Third, begin with a positive approach. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. For example, if someone is habitually late to work, a good way to begin might be, “I’ve noticed that you’re having difficulty getting to work on time. Is there some personal problem that I need to know about?” Or in another situation you might begin, “I have heard a report of something you said, but it didn’t sound like you to me. Did you really say this?”
Then fourth, be very specific about the problem. Beating around the bush won’t do any good. I know it’s tempting for me, when I’m critiquing someone, to start to hem-haw and water it down. But if you’re doing it for the right reason, you need to be very clear about what it is and what needs to be done.
Giving and receiving criticism is a part of life. Knowing how to respond to criticism and how to give it in the right way are signs of professionalism, maturity, and most importantly, of a Christ-like spirit.
I have a gift I want to give you, a booklet we’ve prepared entitled “Giving and Receiving Criticism.” It’s packed full of good information, download booklet here.
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