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PROGRAM D-7010
I’ve finally concluded that if I didn’t have to deal with other people, life would be easy! Do you ever feel that way? It just amazes me how many people don’t think like I think, don’t see things the way I see them, don’t hold the same obviously correct opinion that I hold! Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady” expressed this frustration in the song: Why can’t a woman be more like a man? But I think the words need slightly re-arranging: Why can’t people be more like me?
Often these people-conflicts can ruin our attitudes and drag us down rather quickly. But there’s a little technique which I highly recommend. I call it “reframing.” Put that person who is driving you crazy in another frame—have you ever tried that technique? I had to learn to do this with a former boss. Instead of looking at him in the “Poor People Skills” frame, I finally realized I could see him in the “Very Smart Man” frame. And I began to make myself do that.
This is a wonderful way to keep your attitude in good shape and it’s right out of God’s Word:
“If you believe in goodness and if you value the approval of God, fix your minds on whatever is true and honorable and just and pure and lovely and praiseworthy” (Phil 4:8 J. B. Phillips).
Often when we must deal with unpleasant people, we focus so much on their negative qualities that we totally lose sight of their good ones. The King James Version says to think about the good reports, and I love that phrase, because so often I’m prone to think about the bad reports. That person who is causing you trouble right now—there is some good report about that person if you’ll just look for it. Make yourself think about the good report, the new frame you’ve put them in. You’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to get along with them.
Once you get used to this practice of re-framing people who are difficult, you’ll discover the great side benefits: Reduced stress, less anxiety, better sleep, happier days. You will benefit more than anyone else when you learn to re-frame and think about the good reports, not just the bad ones.