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Let’s talk about overlooking an offense. I was listening to a podcast the other day and the message was about being unoffendable. The question posed was, “Is it really possible to be unoffendable?” And the answer was… you guessed it…. Yes. And let’s be honest, it can take hard work to overlook an offense.
Now first let me say we now live in a culture where we see some people so easily offended it is astonishing. The art of having a respectful conversation while having differing opinions and disagreement has been lost! Some people are on the lookout to have a reason to be offended.
Proverbs 12:16 says: Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.
Be thoughtful, be wise. Don’t be a fool.
Many disputes are so insignificant that they should be resolved by quietly and deliberately overlooking an offense.
Proverbs 19:11 says: A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Overlooking an offense is a form of forgiveness, and involves a deliberate decision not to talk about it, dwell on it, or let it grow into pent-up bitterness or anger. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive others. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can serve only to deplete and drain your life. Demonstrate a readiness to forgive and forget, and to move past the conflict without holding resentments or anger.
And avoid triangulation. Triangulation is when, for example, you are upset with your co-worker Susan and instead of overlooking an offense or directly addressing the conflict with Susan, you complain and gossip to Jim. Call it venting, problem solving, or sharing a prayer request, but it’s really sin.
Is there an offense that God is calling you to overlook? Ask Jesus to help you.
We have done a lot of self-examination when it comes to conflict. Asking God to search our hearts, owning our part in the conflict, being quick to listen…seeking to understand the other person’s point of view, and overlooking an offense.