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Five times in his Gospel, the Apostle John refers to himself as the disciple “whom Jesus loved.” For example, in John 20:2 he tells about what happened on resurrection morning:
So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.”
If you didn’t know better, you might think that John had an ego problem. Did he think Jesus loved only him and not the other disciples? Of course not. John knew for certain that Jesus loved them all. Note what he said about Martha, Mary and Lazarus: “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus” (John 11:5).
And when Jesus wept at the tomb where Lazarus was temporarily buried, the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” (John 11:36).
And after all, he wrote John 3:16—God so loved the world. John knew full well that the love of God was the same for everyone. But he still referred to himself five times in writing that he was the apostle Jesus loved. Why? None of the other Gospel writers use that terminology about themselves. Why does John call himself “the one Jesus loved”?
Because his identify was found in the knowledge that Jesus loved him—individually, distinctively. That was how John saw himself: I am the one Jesus loves. That was who he said he was: I am the one Jesus loves. That was his passport, his calling card, his access to the Father: I am the one Jesus loves.
John had this incredible freedom to say, “I am the one Jesus loves.” He was not embarrassed or shy about saying it. He was so secure in the knowledge that Jesus loved him that this was the driving force of his life; this was the anchor that kept him steadfast and strong; this was the identity that gave him security and hope. He was the one Jesus loved.
It’s a mystery to us how God can know each of us and love each of us uniquely. No person could ever make such a claim. But it is truth—and it is truth that can set you free, as you find your identity as the one Jesus loves.